Useless thoughts

I don't know why I'm here. I just don't feel good and decided to check in, but I really don't know what to do now. 

I don't feel like doing anything and the problem is, I feel like this very regularly so giving in and resting makes me feel guilty for not fighting against it and go and study anyway. I really failed this, that sais: Stay motivated, you can do it. I won't be able to do it and the worst thing is though, that my behaviour won't change anything. 

At the end of the day I will be as depressed and down as now. But I can't afford to miss out again so I will return and it will make me feel so not productive and diligent and I could cry. 

But I don't, because I can't and I feel sad and down and I don't know if this post will give my thoughts any structure, I don't think so. 

Well anyway, as I don't think this will change anything andwhy I wrote this *** even it doesn't change enything and no one will care, I'll go. 

Take care of yourself, don't be like me 🫂