What happens when an introvert gets lonely?
I'm extremely introverted and have always been fine with spending a lot of time alone (like I can basically go a whole day without speaking to anyone and be happy as long as I saw my family at some point during), but recently I've been feeling really lonely. My college classes got moved to virtual March 2020 cause of the pandemic and I haven't seen any of my friends since then. I've since graduated. All the friends I had in college were friends that I only talked to at school. We never hung out outside of school or even texted or anything, so I don't have their numbers. I don't know, I haven't had a friend I hung out with outside of school since I was 11. I just always seem to be the friend people forget about when they make plans (some have even made plans right in front of me "for all their friends" and didn't even pity-ask me if I wanted to go, lol). I was basically fine with that before cause I know that I don't need other people to think about me to have worth as a person and I knew that I had my family to do things with, but now I really don't have any friends at all. Like I said, I haven't been in contact with any of the friends I had in college and I was never that close to them anyway, but now I'm dealing with problems I don't feel comfortable talking about with my family (it's stuff I know would upset them and some stuff I don't know how they would react to) so I'm craving some friends to talk to instead. It's kind of weird. I haven't really dealt with this kind of intense loneliness before. I know this isn't true, but it feels like I'll never make friends again now that I'm done with school. I don't know. All of this is making me really miss the only close friend I ever had. We were friends for a couple years in elementary school and we had sleepovers and talked all the time, but I had to move across the country and we lost contact :( Ever since then I've had a hard time making friends. I guess I always compare new friendships to that one? I could also be keeping my distance in friendships so I don't get hurt again. I kind of hate it. I just want to have at least one genuine, close friend that I can talk to about anything and not have to worry about getting judged or made fun of. I'd like to be the person someone turns to for comfort, too. I've had acquaintances that would vent to me all the time, but wouldn't listen to anything I said unless it was about their problems. I don't want to be like that. I want to lift someone up as they do the same for me. Ugh, I hope that makes sense.
@yellowFan3359
Even introverted people have their limits on how much time they want to be alone. I know moving to virtual has been difficult for a lot of people and pretty triggering for those with depression. You made perfect sense in your post. When the introvert gets lonely, they try to find ways to not feel lonely. I know that in some places, things are still pretty locked down, but you can socialize in other ways. Have you used the chat rooms? Many users say that it helps them feel a little less lonely.
Hi, thanks for responding! I am trying to use the chat rooms, but I've never used chat rooms before so I'm not sure how you're supposed to interact on them. Are you supposed to just respond to whoever you want's posts? I also have social anxiety so it's hard not to overthink everything I say/write, but I'll try to lean into the chat rooms harder cause it does help bit by bit. Thank you for the advice and for being understanding :)
@yellowFan3359
Of course, any time. With chat rooms, it is live time so you just reply to whoever you want, and all converse together. :) You can say as much or as little as you want. We also have sharing circles which are discussions that allow you space to share uninterrupted.
I understood what you were feeling too I am feeling exactly the same way. My friend just ignore me and when I talk to her about my feelings. she just then talked about other peoples events and ignore what I am saying totally.
