Dating and depression
Anyone have any tips for dating when depressed? I keep thinking Im going to wait until Im better, but I may never be better. I could always be dealing with this depression and if so, I cant avoid dating much longer. I dont like being single.
First think about yourself and what you want out in a relationship. Look at your qualities are you out going, bubbly, friendly or nice person then work on those . Another way is to try building up your confidence so maybe doing expanding on your self esteem and work to feeling good giving yourself time out for you . If you become aware of those things your feel your ready for a partner and they will accept the person you already are. I'm not saying to change. Read up about how you can improve your self worth and confidence whether if it's knowing more about relationships or just working towards future goals .
I hope that helps and good luck .
DISCLAIMER:THIS IS ALL JUST PERSONAL OPINION AND EXPERIENCE I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS THE RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO DO THINGS...
I have found two ways to date while even severly depressed-
#1(I have done in the past). Find someone that sparks the light in you, That makes you want to get up and smile and maybe even get a little crazy. The kind of person that pulls you out of bed and out of that depressed state to go party even when you whine and tell them you don't feel like it. The kind of person to speed down the road while you blare the music and the both of you can't stop laughing.
#2(Am currently doing). Find someone that will lay in bed with you(no, not like that), just while you're laying there depressed and will wipe away your tears and tell you that it'll be okay eventually and they'll stay with you and support you until that time comes. Find that petrson that will hold you close and just hold you and rock you and love you until that dark cloud goes away.
That's all the advice and personal experience I can give. Depression is different for everybody and it affects you in different ways. So, What works for me may not work for you, but I hope that I helped maybe a little bit. and I'm sorry that you're feeling down:(
@ClassicalMe youre right, I find that while I was seeing guys who are outgoing and have a naturally happy disposition, their energy effects me a lot in a good way. And suddenly all thise cheesy, bubbly love songs about blue skies and butterflies makes sense 🤦🏻♀️🤣😂
@Desiringchange1475 Loneliness and being depressed can be extremely debilitating especially in terms of trying to be happy with another person. I'd love to explore the possible ways of doing just that if you're ever interested. Best of luck
My whole life I've had to be my own rock. Now I have to be that for my boyfriend. I feel like such a failure that I cant help him. I'm feeling hopeless.
This is just my opinion, but since my best friend passed away from cancer and time has been speeding me toward middle age already, I
Me and my boyfriend have been together two years now, and I love him to pieces. I've had my low points but in front of him I kind of brushed them aside to not worry him. But the other month I totally broke down crying and shouting at him, telling him things I didn't truly believe in but I just wanted to feel angry at someone to try and validate my sadness, in a weird way. He told me he was getting tired of all my mood swings and not telling him anything. Eventually he just sat down with me and held me, but then he noticed the burn marks I had made all up my arm. I had never told him before that sometimes I burn myself because it makes me feel better more secure and grounded. He didn't say anything, he just started crying. We haven't mentioned it since but I sometimes catch him looking at my scars, maybe to see if there's any new ones. I'm afraid to be sad around him now or to cry, incase he just says he's fed up with my bad moods and leaves. I don't realy know what to do.
@OpheliaHoneysuckle It can definitely be scary to confront things that seem like they might shake a relationship, but it's important to have the level of trust in a relationship that he cares about you to help you. From your story, it sounds to me like he really really cares about you and wants to help you. Maybe he just doesn't know how. Is there some way you can explain to him to help him help you.
I've told my boyfriend that sometimes, I just need a really tight hug and for him to remind me he loves me. Now that he knows how he can help me in a way that works for me and I know he cares about me.
I've realized, for me, that being upfront and honest about what is going on allows other people to decide how much they are willing to put up with when it comes to my mental and physical health. Some people leave and that's ok. Some people stay and I always have to remind myself that they are people to and have to put themselves first.
My tip. Make sure that you are better. Even if it's a little bit. Make it your goal to be "fine" cos being in a relationship while depressed has its own struggles. Worse than when you're single.