Family issues.

I've a few questions:

Is there any way that a parent saying "You're whining means you don't love your parents," to a 1 year old ok? If other family members have had CPS and cops involved for other issues, and the parent believes the above quote is true?

If you see problems with someone, does that mean that those are problems you see with yourself? For example, if someone is a religious fanatic, and will evict a family member from their home because they work on the Sabbath, and that's just one part of feeling that person's crazy, is that some reflection on the person observing it?

If a 3 year old girl has a history of pushing down, or otherwise attacking kids, and then, over a weekend, pushes down a 1 year old boy--one of the reasons is because her 9 year old brother gave the one year old a toy--is that a sign of progress; considering she had pushed one kid at day care so hard, he was out for a week, and probably went to the hospital, and has previously been supsended from day care, on multiple counts? Whose the one who isn't seeing things clearly? Myself, for being concerned that the 3 year old attcked the 1 year old? Or some others, because "she's not as bad as she's been before."