ozymonds Member Profile

Coping with "worse than reality show family."

7 Cups Online Therapy / by ozymonds

August 18th, 2020

...See more Have you ever watched one of those lame reality shows, where there's a bunch of crazy people, and wondered if people could really be that messed up? I've found out, over the last few years, that yes, people can. They're my wife's family. Last year, my wife's kid sister, 13 at the time, got involved with a friend of the family, 27. My wife and I were sick, and trying to watch the baby, not yet one...I'd collapsed to the floor, blacking out for a moment. We later learned that one of my wife's older sisters saw the younger one, along with their dad, go outside of the house, to where the friend was staying. He'd been drunk. She later talked to some others, "family" in another state. He was arrested. My wife's dad and his side of the family, ahve had a grudge against his wife's side for about 25 years. They used this opportunity to claim that the tiny church they lead is a cult, and encourages the girls to get with older men. They decided to put me into the police report, as "a 30 year old getting with a 20 year old;" the police report accusing the church of encouraging pedophilia. How "normal" is that. AND IT GOES ON, going through 3 states, 2 courthouses, cps, and "almost a divocrce." And that's just that one issue. There's a &$^*( more, ranging from death threats to stealing mail. I have difficulties in not only finding work, but as I'm usually doing temp work, to get additional work.

Family issues.

Depression Support / by ozymonds

September 29th, 2017

...See more I've a few questions: Is there any way that a parent saying "You're whining means you don't love your parents," to a 1 year old ok? If other family members have had CPS and cops involved for other issues, and the parent believes the above quote is true? If you see problems with someone, does that mean that those are problems you see with yourself? For example, if someone is a religious fanatic, and will evict a family member from their home because they work on the Sabbath, and that's just one part of feeling that person's crazy, is that some reflection on the person observing it? If a 3 year old girl has a history of pushing down, or otherwise attacking kids, and then, over a weekend, pushes down a 1 year old boy--one of the reasons is because her 9 year old brother gave the one year old a toy--is that a sign of progress; considering she had pushed one kid at day care so hard, he was out for a week, and probably went to the hospital, and has previously been supsended from day care, on multiple counts? Whose the one who isn't seeing things clearly? Myself, for being concerned that the 3 year old attcked the 1 year old? Or some others, because "she's not as bad as she's been before."

When the anxiety interferes with parts of life...

Anxiety Support / by ozymonds

March 28th, 2023

...See more For a while, I've been trying to start my own business, having an interest in Real Estate Investing [REI]. I'd really like to hear if anyone else has had a go at trying this, as well. Anyway, back in Dec of 2016, I decided I needed a change. I had been doing a few temp jobs, which, when ended, left me unemployed. These varied from doing insurance inspections, to setting up and breaking down a sort of carnival like event. So, I decided to get into bookkeeping. I had some accounting classes in HS and college [late 90s], and had done a little basic bookkeeping. There were lots of video tutorials, and though slow, I felt with enough time, probably a good "semester" worth of studying, I'd be a go. Then, in mid-January, my wife's grandparents, who we're staying with, took me off the good internet, and stuck me on the satellite web, which is so pathetic, with maybe an average of 0.2 Mb download, and a 25GB limit, which meant that watching the training tutorials was impossible; I hadn't even had a chance, for example, to go over the Quick Books Online Videos, and nowhere close to the Pro and Advance Pro training. Plus, with the web being so slow, it would be impossible to work from home, as it can sometimes take 2 minutes, just to load a simple web page. So, we went to visit my wife's mom (the daughter of the grand parents we're staying with, atm), and I've been going to the IT computer lab. For a bit, I was working on some of my bookkeeping classes, but then, I started some more work on the real estate investing small business. I had a few "almosts," and then, I started feeling all tense and anxious. I was looking back at the BK work, when I "had a talk with gramps." They were about as insulting as it can get. "Are you familiar with daily work, daily pay?" "Manpower?" "You may have to take a job you don't want." I'm in my 30s, and familiar with all of that. That's why I was wroking on the BK...until they screwed me out of it. What's really got me on edge is 2-fold: 1st, one of the last things gramps told me about was some news thing (which IDK if actually was) about a guy spending all his time online, so his wife took their kid, and divocred him. The NERVE to even bring that up to me is staggering, especially all the times I've helped them, between their church, to getting firewood for winter. Add to insult, they refer me to "useless" jobs, like working in a comic book shop--we live 20 - 30 miles north of the city, so a minimum wage job would mean all my money would go to the car, and paying them rent! Plus, if that wasn't enough, there's the depressing of trying to start a business, and it's floundering, and lack of progress. So, instead of working on either my bookkeeping online classes, or the business (I did a few emails), I spent time on 7cups, reading, reading news articles, and gaming for about an hour. Any others who have tried to start a business, while unemployed, and trying to go to school for work, at the same time, and dealing with a lot of unsupporting family? REI would be awesome, but any entreprenuers would be good to hear from!

Livin' La Vida Loca

Depression Support / by ozymonds

February 9th, 2017

...See more IDK where to start with the madness, so I'll just start from a recentish issue, and just flow. I'll put the different sides in [], to try to make things easier to type. I married my wife, and we have an awesome boy, whose note quite 1. However, instead of joyful, I'm often angry, and resentful. I not only feel this way to my wife [W], but my son [S}. I find it disturbing, upsetting, and frusturating to have these feelings for her, and especially him. The root of the issues, IMO, come from my wife's mom's [WM] side of the family, and her dad's [WD] side. When they got married, besides the majority of families being in 2 different states [WMS; WDS], with another state between them, there is a HUGE fight over religion. WM's side, while not directly affiliated with them, are 7th Day keepers. WD's side is atheist, and very secular. Both WM's and WD's family didn't want them to marry, and have been very negative towards the "other side." Here is the most recent crisis, which seems to be something new(ish). Back in Sept, there was a stat rape incident, involving a 13 year girl, and a guy who was +10 years older than her. The girl has issues, including coping with a bro who died in 2009. The guy has some mental learning and comprehension issues. The issue is that the guy attends the small church that WM's paretns are pastors of. WD's family accused WM's family of promoting this sort of behavior. They included my wife & I. We've been married for 1 1/2 years, and she was over 18, by almost a year. However, I'm more than 10 years older than her, which WD's side didn't approve of. My wife's older sister did likewise, in that after she was 18, she married a guy who was +10 years older. That we were brought up in police reports for the stat rape infuriated me, and terrified my wife. Due to some underhanded antics by WD and WD's family, their remaining minor kids were taken from their home, across state lines, to WD's family, nevermind the ongoing investigation. How this was accomplished was WD lied to CPS. It's the involvement of CPS that got us both, for if they were looking in on WD and WM, will they look in on us? Of course, 2 points are to be made. 1) We have been married 1.5 years, and there was no reports, whatsoever. 2) WD's side has made several insinuations about the church--and its members--are cultists, promoting sex trafficking. Since that's being slowly proven in court to be false, it opens WD's side to possible criminal and civil court actions. Where things are also stressful is that we are currently staying with WM's folks, and live up in the mountains, about 45 mins north of town; more time, with the winter weather. That's because I've been working temp/freelancer jobs, and am currently between jobs. At 1st, I was glad for the place, especially with the baby on the way. However, that's been a nest of vipers. For example, I was looking to get a "job" working Kirby vaccuums, which I'll let people do their own research on. The issue was that I needed to be in, on a Saturday, for training. This wasn't mentioned when I started. WM's folks, being pastors of their tiny church, told me that if I work on the Sabbath, I'd have 30 days, and then have to leave. They believe that if I don't keep the Sabbath, it somehow taints them, as I'm "in their gates." ATM, I don't have resources for anywhere else. As for "shelters:" they want to split us up; we would have to be involved in heavy church activities that go against our beliefs; they would limit us to contacts; and a lot of other rules, that are either stifeling, or insulting. In addition, they have no consideration for others. They are constantly telling us to be quiet, when the grandma needs to sleep, but they tend to stay up late [sometimes as late as 1am], and then, gramps gets up at 6am. Add to that, we have a baby that wakes up at random times to cry for feedings/diapers, and sleep's erratic, at best. I, sadly, am a very light sleeper. Just walking along the wood floor can often wake me up. And for whatever insane reason, granny claims she needs "white noise" to sleep, and that "music" plays loudly, more often than not. I've mentioned all of this, and for a bit, they do so, but then, it goes back. Or, they refuse to, with granny saying "I need this to sleep;" yet she complains about us making noise??? It also becomes irritating, with constant badgering about my currently not being employed. Granny constantly suggests all these customer service jobs, which I simply hate. Even if I didn't, when you add in the very time it takes to commute, with the gas, and the partly pay, I'd be spending most of my money on gas, and not being able to leave. It would also take away time from looking for jobs that I'd like, AND that would pay well. Of course, the problems with them not respecting a sleep schedule is a problem, too. I've found myself being tired. A few times, I tried to sleep in the living room, on a sofa. However, they crank up the fire to +95, and any attempts to make it a little cooler are crushed...I had gotten sick, because of the rapid changes between the heat and cold. That also makes a job search dismal, as I'm either tired, or feeling ill. One last crazy issue, for now, that weighs in. WD's dad isn't with the rest of WD's dad. At one point, he got very threatening, making a threat on my life. The only remedy I'll list here is a restraining order. So, with all this insanity, it causes me to often question. Should I have married my wife? She has a very "mountaineer" outlook on things, while I've a "big city." She wants to keep ties with family, even though they do everything from use CPS as an excuse to take kids across state lines, to death threats. For me, family is on deeds. I've friends I've know for years, who are more family to me, than my own family. I'm not so keen on ties to most of the people mentioned in this thread, which is another huge stress with my wife and I. Anyone have their $0.02?

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