Finding support outside of blood family

@Daydreamer47 Hi Day, I have felt similarily.. I wasn't raised with parents who weren't able to communicate their emotions in a healthy way. I'm in my late 20's now and really feel like I struggle with the most basic tasks; "adulting" is a nightmare. I have trouble keeping track of my finances, I don't feel much direction in my life and I struggle with interpersonal relationships. I'm doing a lot of inner child work now and it feels like it all goes back to not feeling supported at all as a child.

One major roadblock that I'm running into is allowing other people to help me, which I think boils down to a self-worth issue stemming from the idea: if my parent's didn't care enough about me to help why would anyone else? and I don't deserve to have help because *insert childhood self-shaming reason here*. I have one reallly good friend who I feel like I can talk to but I constantly feel like a burden to her because she's been the only one I felt I can open up to. Recently my step-mum stepped up and sort of broke me down a bit (in a good way) and it's really showing me my own inability to let people help me. Luckily she sort of is insisting on helping me so I can't fight it, because my instinct is to run when people try to invest in me. Sometimes when I'm trying to open up to her and be honest about what I'm going through I have to breath into myself and say "it is okay to be seen, it is okay to be authentic, she will not abandon me, I deserve to feel supported at loved".

Something that has helped me in this process is reminding myself that the reason this is sooooooooo damn uncomfortable for me is because it is the change that I need. It has to be uncomfrotable in order to break the cycle; you have to change your self-protecting 'comforting' patterns which is hard to let go of but the only way to allow for change. A lot of these protecting mechanisms are things we develop as children to self-soothe and they can be difficult to recognize and break down. It can be helpful to go through this process with a therapist.

Is there a school counselor or teacher or a parent of a friend who you could feel comfortable talking to? For me it helps to have someone older to sort of replicate that lost "parent" bond. But also a friend your own age is a good place to start. Remind yourself often that you are worthy of connection and you do deserve to have pepole who love and support you. Have a look at some of your relationships and see if there are any that you'd feel comfortable leaning into a bit more to give yourself some support.

(Sorry for vomiting my own issues on your post I felt like I could relate and then got a little carried away. )