How do you measure your self-worth?
That is quite a loaded question to most people. Because no matter what I tell you or suggest could be counter productive as basing your self worth on anything other than your own views can be quite damaging. Don't get me wrong, I have asked the question a lot and am very guilty of basing my self worth on other people's opinions or guidelines. It's something I struggle with everyday.
Most people talk about self worth as something that needs to built up or restored or learned. I honestly think at one point all of us had a full storage tank of self worth/love/esteem/respect and society and fear of judgement, criticism etc slowly wore it down. Because we were told it was something we had to earn, to prove. But it isn't, it's already there...we just stopped nurturing it. Not saying it isn't hard, it is indeed. With the hardest step being looking within ourselves for all the ways and reasons we are beautiful and deserving of every sunrise.
But at the end of the day it's only something you can answer. It is heavily intertwined with self-esteem and self-respect. I think that is why they say self-love is so cruicial because it allows you to see that you are worthy. You are worthy of a break, or a self indulgent treat, or even that occaisional day where things just aren't perfect. It allows you to forgive yourself of perceived shortcomings and understand when you sometimes cannot. It is okay, you are worthy because you are you and that is awesome.
I used to measure it by how others treated me or responded to me, now I do by how I treat others. Which is fair, I usually treat others better than they treat me, but I tend to slide back to my first way , when not having a good day.
@CurWilliam
Albert Ellis of REBT fame insisted that U.S.A. Unconditional Self Esteem was necessary for optimal MH and panned "self esteem" efforts/views b/c they could lead to conditional self evaluations.
David Burns MD of CBT fame opined that healthy self esteem could be derived by simply learning to shut down the erroneous, critical, abusive inner voice promoting distorted thinking.
I find both views to be helpful.
error USA = unconditional self acceptance
REBT also prescribes Unconditional Other-Acceptance (UOA) and Unconditional Life-Acceptance (ULA).
An Eastern philosopher, Alan Watts, once said, The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.
Live in the present moment accepting who you are at the moment with unconditional self acceptance (U.S.A) and find contentment without regard to external factors, standing or evaluations related to success.
