How to forgive?
I don't know how to forgive.
When somebody hurts me it's very hard for me to forgive them, specially if they don't apologize with me first. But sometimes I feel bad because my relationships get ruined because of my pride and I wish I could forgive them and start again, however, as I said it before, it's still very difficult for me.
Can you give me some advices?
I've read that forgiveness is more for your own peace of mind. I don't know about that but I also have trouble forgiving people who've hurt me. Also, I never forget.
I've become more of a karma-will-get-them-in-the-end kind of person and take steps to distance or remove myself from them. When someone has demostrated callousness or expoitation of anyone's vulnerabilities, that's not someone I want to be around ever again. Broken trust is terribly difficult to mend because if they've done it once, they'll most likely do it again.
If someone is hurting you consistently without apologizing or acknowledging the harm they're doing, that person should not be an important part of your life.
“To be incapable of taking one's enemies, one's accidents, even one's misdeeds seriously for very long—that is the sign of strong, full natures in whom there is an excess of the power to form, to mold, to recuperate and to forget (a good example of this in modem times is Mirabeau, who had no memory for insults and vile actions done him and was unable to forgive simply because he—forgot). Such a man shakes off with a single shrug many vermin that eat deep into others; here alone genuine 'love of one's enemies' is possible—supposing it to be possible at all on earth. How much reverence has a noble man for his enemies!—and such reverence is a bridge to love.—For he desires his enemy for himself, as his mark of distinction; he can endure no other enemy than one in whom there is nothing to despise and very much to honor! In contrast to this, picture 'the enemy' as the man of ressentiment conceives him—and here precisely is his deed, his creation: he has conceived 'the evil enemy,' 'the Evil One,' and this in fact is his basic concept, from which he then evolves, as an afterthought and pendant, a 'good one'—himself!”
Dear wallflower,. I also have trouble with forgiveness. I have had some awful things happen to me ,caused my ptsd, anyway I try to see those ppl as they are in some kind of internal pain because truly good kind ppl don't hurt others. The offenders are inflicting their suffering by hurting others. I try to write out a forgiveness letter then burn it- that sometimes helps. I feel your pain, best of luck.
