How to get out of this monotony?
My life has really been off for the past 2 days/nights...insomnia has kicked in, and I only get a few hours of sleep when the sun comes up. I work from home and have REALLY been struggling to do work that is needed to be done. Instead, I've been just sitting watching a show, strolling through chat and the forums I go to (dealing with depression and CSA), and stress eating.
I'm pretty sure the catalyst for all of the anxiety/deep depression is one of my close friends who texted me that he was going to "drop me as a friend" because I hadn't talked to him/reached out in two weeks. During those two weeks I've been isolating because of work I've had to finish, have been feeling a lot of pressure and I'm dealing with a lot of things from my past right now (trying to heal from CSA and he knows about it). When I expressed this to him, he just got defensive and basically told me everyone has pressures and it only takes 5 minutes to pick up the phone and call. Then he tried to play off the "drop you as a friend" comment as a humor venting type comment and not serious, but I just felt so betrayed and couldn't shake the feeling.
I want to climb out of this hole, but I feel so tired, sad, confused - pretty much giving up on responsibilities and people. Any ideas? Not expecting to be "cured" in an hour, heck, even today/this week, but I don't want to lose work relationships and the potential for more jobs. I also don't want to go so far backwards in my healing process after I've been making so much progress with trying to be more open/trusting again. FML.
@StereoBrick Hello, my friend.
I'm so very sorry to hear about your struggles, you must be having it really hard right now. It seems like your friend doesn't understand that you struggle, that must be very upsetting for you.
You don't deserve to feel this way.
What I wanted to ask:
Would you happen to have supportive friends and family that you can turn to and discuss these issues? It might be useful for you to know that you are not alone and that somebody is there to listen to you and split the weight you carry in half? There is nothing wrong with seeking support and telling somebody you're not feeling to well and then talk about it.
What do you usually do when you are feeling like this? Is there anything that you can think of that cheers you up?
If you can't think of anything, maybe some of these suggestions can help:
This site is great for relaxation https://www.calm.com so I would recommend that you check it out!
Also maybe you could try with eating healthy food, or taking a walk with a friend or maybe listening to some relaxing music. Also, keeping a dairy of your emotions or talking to a friend (listener if not friend) might be of help!
I wish you all the best.
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you are going through this, sounds very frustrating.
I had alot of trouble with sleeping when i was abit younger (comes and goes now but not as bad) I was given medication called Zopiclone 3.75mg for one week. Worked wonders with me, obviously it may not be for you. I suggest talking to your GP about some short term meds you can take to try and get yourself back in a routine of sleep, also so you can feel refreshed in the morning.
I also have an app on my iPhone called Calm Radio (www.calmradio.com) It has a whole load of relaxing music channels and even one that is specifically for sleep! Very hypnotic and worked very well in getting me relaxed.
