I'm confused.
Hi.
Last year, someone I love passed away. It was hard and I regret everything I can't tell him. His death affected my studies and I cried almost every day since then for about two weeks. I took a leave from school for a few days, and thought I could be better. Unfortunately, it didn't. My housemates weren't helping at all that they betrayed me. I was left out and felt very lonely. Since then my grades dropped. I always thought I'm just feeling sad and not depressed as I still hang out with my old friends some time after that. On weekends, I would sleep all day on Saturdays and did a little homework on Sundays. Without me knowing, it's already March and my grades keep dropping and I failed to finish my homework. I cried almost every night. I mostly felt sad when I'm home, with the housemates and I've distanced myself from them since the beginning of this year. I could say I was one of the best students last year, but I felt like I'm going to fail this continues. I tried sharing my problems with my closest friends, and it went well for a few days. I actually felt better. But then it happened again. I'm actually confused why am I like this? Am I just trying to get people's attention? I don't have any suicidal thoughts as I still have so many things I want to do and accomplished but I don't feel like doing anything and I really wanted to be away from my housemates. Sometimes I just want to be in bed doing nothing. I need to know why am I feeling like this and I hope someone can tell me or just give me an idea on what's going on with myself. Thank you so much.
@greyWolf78 Hi! First of all, thank you for positng this. I know it was probably difficult to be so very real with your feelings. I feel like you are having a very natural reaction to a terrible series of events. In your post, you pointed out grief and loss, low motivation, and feeling distance from your friends, which is seems like would be enough to make anyone feel down. I am glad that you note that you are not feeling suicidal and that you are still doing some of the things you need to do on a day-to-day basis. However, it sounds like you are feeling somewhat overwhelmed by where things have gotten to with your housemates and your grades. You recognize alot about yourself and that is a huge strength! Don't forget to focus on self-care even if you are worried about your grades and friendships. Getting yourself to a healthy place will likely improve those other things.
-Jennie
@greyWolf78
I'm sorry you're going through this. Grief is never hard and we all deal with it differently.
The issue here is you isolating yourself. When we isolate ourselves we're all alone with thoughts and it can become a very chaotic situation inside our head. You need to go out, can even be 5 mins. Breathe fresh air, cry if you have to, but please don't stay inside.
Also if you can find new hobbies if it's possible so your mind is occupied. In terms of studies break down the subjects and study them bit by bit. No rushes, no stress, take your time. There will be days when you'll do it, and others when you won't. But keep trying. A busy mind is better than a bored mind because the more isolation and nothing to do, the worst it becomes.