I’m so done
I don’t know how to keep going, every single day I tell myself that things will get better but they don’t, in fact each passing day just keeps getting worse. I feel as if no one understands me, not even a single person, even those who are the closest to me. When I share my feelings and emotions with people, I just end up feeling stupid for oversharing and feel as if others think I’m saying the things I do just for seeking attention. I overthink a lot, I feel anxious and am always bothered about what others think of me, I try to be a good human but think that I come across as a very rude person. I have been feeling this way since the past two years, I won’t lie, I have had good days too but all these feelings are always playing constantly in the back of my head and most days are horrible in regard to each and every aspect, I feel like nothing good can ever happen with me and I just need to accept how everything is now.
I understand how you feel. I’ve been there, on and off, up and down, forever it seems. Right now I’m feeling a bit better than you, only in that I can remember that I can feel better, and that I can climb out of this hole, and one day, one day I hope, I’ll feel better.
Feeling like it sounds like you do, that the thought that anything will ever change, that it will always just suck, is such a hopeless and exhausting place to be. Feeling guilty and responsible for being in this state in the first place, unable to figure out what to do, if there’s anything to do, or if, WTF, let’s just lie down and close my eyes.
I don’t want to sound like I’m just stating the obvious, but you’re depressed, and depression is both a cycling disorder and a treatable illness. Usually just with time, you will begin to feel a bit better, hopefully. But an antidepressant can help a lot. The med helps the light at the end of the tunnel come into view, gives you enough energy to see beyond the bleakness.
Find someone to talk to who will understand, they’re out there. Find a therapist. My therapist is so wonderful when she just sits there, listening and nodding her head, and I can see she really understands!
Hang in there. There are so many of us out here feeling just like you. You’re not alone!
