No idea what to do?!
I met a guy who I really like so much. We've had 3 dates, and on Friday he was going to stay over in my flat with me. We were having a really great time, until he got a call from his brother that his uncle suddenly had a heart-attack earlier, and obviously had to go to the hospital. We kissed a lot, but from yesterday I felt like crap.
I really hope he is okay, but I at the same time hope he's interested in seeing me again. My anxiety and depression has been worse. Understandably he's not been texting as much, but I'm worried he'll go off me. I stayed in all day worrying. I've into just got over a guy how many months ago who hurt me, and I really can't pick myself up again.
Help please?
@Simon22UK Hello. I'm really happy you've met someone you like so much, and equally sorry the evening ended that way. I hope everything's ok from the hospital. It sounds like it's incredibly difficult at the moment, you need reassurance from your new boyfriend without feeling he can even be regarded as such, yet can't be direct with him given his family circumstances. That you understand and have accepted that will, I'm sure, mean a lot to him. Chances are, he's as keen on you as you are on him, so he'll naturally feel concerned about how your night ended. Try to look at things, had they been different. He'd have stayed, he clearly wanted to stay, be with you. He didn't choose to leave, he had no choice and it's obvious you see that, but it's hard sometimes to also feel it when past experiences leave you hurt and vulnerable. I can only say what I would do in your situation, which is, I'd text him offering support and would reassure him that the evening was special to me. Once things calm down and hopefully, his uncle makes a recovery, you can both start again. If he's the right person for you, it'll happen. Right now, you're placed by circumstance into a sort of limbo. All you can really do is wait to be honest. And when you feel afraid of being hurt all over again, that's a tough call to have to deal with. Talk it over with close friends, or with people on here as you've done now. It's not going to give answers or change the situation or how you feel, only time will do that. It will let you talk things through and get it outside of your head, and that's good. I really hope things work out happy and well for you all. Here if you need to talk or anything. Sure it will all be ok. Take care, Jan
@CuriousBookworm5 Thank you so much for the message, it means a lot! I hope he hasn't gone off me, as he hasn't texted me back since. The help means a lot!
@Simon22UK Aw, you're more than welcome. I'm only sorry help was needed, it's such an awkward situation for you to be in. That's a tricky one, this is such a new relationship, and there hasn't been time to really build up trust on both sides, especially given the abrupt way you were parted. It's more than likely he's simply caught up with the hospital and family. He might even feel as if he's let you down, spoilt things by having to leave. Lots of thoughts are likely going through his head right now, just as they're going through yours. Give him longer, try a couple of days and then text him to ask how things are going. That way, it's giving him space but also, it's letting him know you're there for him, were thinking about him. I'm sure he hasn't changed his mind or feelings about you. If you don't hear back from him, it's no reflection on you, although admittedly, it wouldn't feel like that. Everyone has their own inner movies playing inside their heads. You can't know what his is, so don't assume any lack of contact is because of you. It may just be how he is. Which would say more about him than it ever could about you. You sound like a lovely, caring, understanding man, and those are wonderful qualities to have, truly. See how things go over the next few days. Again, if you need to talk, please know you can. I'll happily listen and try my best to help, so it's a given if you need that. And I hope he turns up at your door with a MASSIVE bunch of flowers!! Try to relax and take care. Jan
@CuriousBookworm5 I just thought I'd update you. He actually replied earlier today, which made me feel a bit relieved, but since then when I've been trying to sleep, it's kept me up. As a result of working on university assessments last night in the library, and now it's back. I know I should just wait a few days before I talk him to again, but I'm not sure if I can help myself and ask if he would like to do something, but It would be really insensitive and selfish! Thanks again earlier for the advice!
@Simon22UK Thank you for that, it's really nice of you. I appreciate it. Would it be rude of me to say I'm typing this with a great big, soppy grin on my face!?! Aw, so, SO happy he replied!!! That's lovely. For what it's worth, it wouldn't be at all selfish or insensitive to ask if he wanted to do something. He's answered, so you can just reply back, ask if he'd like to meet up but fine if not, if he's busy with family, it's ok and understood. Could be tomorrow or whenever, sounds like you yourself must be worn out, but whatever you feel comfortable with. Then just see what he says, see what happens. I'm sure it'll all be ok. You're very lovely to have waited for him, it's a kindness I'm sure he'll value very much.
@CuriousBookworm5 Haha thank you! Haha not rude at all. I just bit my tongue and asked if he wanted to do something at the end of the week or not! Fingers crossed! Thanks once more for the advice!
@Simon22UK YAYYYYYYYY!!!!! Aw, really happy and pleased! I do hope everything works out good, sure it will. You're welcome. VERY big smiles now!! X
