S.O. inadvertently pushing people away

My significant other has suffered from depression for years. He’s had counseling in the past but is currently choosing not to. He desperately seems to want social activity but he can’t stand people at the same time. If they say anything he disagrees with he will make it a full blown argument. He constantly claims he’s sick of being the bad guy but from the outside looking in he absolutely is…he’s even starting to lash out at our closest friends who he’s known for years. In our gaming groups he always says he hates being the leader but then gets mad if people don’t do what he says.

At this point our closest friends don’t want to spend time with him for their own well being. I can’t make him understand that he won’t have friends if he doesn’t treat them well, he’ll just shut down. He refused to get counseling again even though it has helped him in the past.

I don’t know what to do or say to help him. I already give him all of my time other than work. I even do activities and play games I don’t want to because he has no one else.