Sad and alone

Hi,

This is the first time I've ever done something like this and its a really scary thing so please bare with me! I'm a 20 year old girl who is currently studying in my last year of university. I think for me feeling sad and alone is something that has been a constant battle. I was severley bullied at school but luckily for me I had a small group of friends who really helped me through. It is only in the past 6 months or so that I've really hit my lowest point. I lost all of my friends, each of them from going to uni in different places and not really having the time to see each other and having boyfriends so they're with them often. I have tried on mulitple occasions to meet up with them but it never happens. The last time we properly spoke was over a month ago and since then my messages have been ignored and they have never bothered to message me. I often sit and get really upset because of how alone I feel, I never thought I would be in the position where I feel like I have no one and I'm sat contemplating what is actually good in my life. I do have a boyfriend and we have been together for a while but he goes to uni too, over 2.5 hours away, so he can't always be around to help me feel less lonely. Sometimes he can get frustarted with me because I cry a lot and he doesn't really understand because he is the type of person who loves his own company, whereas I don't. I feel like there must be a reason why no one wants to be my friend or spend time with me and it has made me feel so empty. I've had thoughts like "what's the point anymore?" on a few occassions but manage to snap myself out of them. I do have a family but the relationships are tubrulent with some of them because of different reasons and therefore don't feel like spending a lot of time with them. They also all have their own lives and jobs etc and I don't want to place a burden on anyone. I try to distract myself by having a long shower or painting my nails or watching something on TV but nothing seems to work. I'm really scared that I'm always going to feel like this. I've tried going to societies at uni but it's always really awkward when you're on your own and everyone has made their own friendship groups. I really do just feel lost when all I want is to be happy. I'm not saying that I want to be in the company of someone all the time but knowing that I don't even have the option of it is really depressing. If anyone has any help or advice then that would be great!

Thank you so much for reading my story