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KJ001
246 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2018 Member sinceJanuary 17, 2018
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Can anyone help me?
Depression Support / by KJ001
Last post
 June 2nd, 2018
...See more I have recently been diagnosed with depression by my doctor and have been prescribed medication. The only people I told before I went to my doctor was my mum and my boyfriend. Today I decided I wanted to tell my grandparents as I live with them and at the moment I feel like I need all the support I can get. It was really hard. Straight away they blamed my boyfriend. This is because every single weekend I pack up my bags and go to see my boyfriend who is 120 miles away. He is also very good at emotionally abusing me by telling me he doesn
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I'm finally getting help
Depression Support / by KJ001
Last post
 February 6th, 2018
...See more I've strugged with depression now for around a year. It has been the hardest year of my life. Tomorrow I am going to the doctors to ask for help. I am absolutely petrified. I'm so scared to open up to someone about how I feel. Does anyone have any advice on the process/ what I should expect?
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I love my boyfriend but he treats me badly
Relationship Stress / by KJ001
Last post
 January 25th, 2018
...See more Today has been one of the hardest days of my life. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We're in a long distance realtionship because he's 2.5 hours away from me at uni and then almost 2 hours away when he is at home. I love him so much. I try and spend as much time with as I can because I love being with him and he really does have the ability to make me really happy. The problem is that we argue, quite a lot. It's really hard to be apart and I feel like that doesn't help. When we argue he will get really mean and say "I don't love you or care about you" or "it's hilarious because you're all on your own without me." That is definitley true, I have no friends and my family aren't ideal so I do really feel like I only have him. It has all came to blows a little bit because of his ex girlfriend. He is refusing to talk to me and has ignored all of my messages and phonecalls. He says he still really cares about her and he will check where she is and what she's doing, even in front of me sometimes, which he knows really upsets me. Then if I ask him about it he will either say I accept it or he won't be me so as much as I hate it, I'll try and bare it because I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. He has a really good way of turning everything around on me, even if he has done something wrong which makes me feel really guilty and I end up being the one apolgoising. I don't want to and I know in my head that I shouldn't be he's pretty persuasive about it. I then end up trying to spend all my time making it up to him because of what he thinks I did and then we end up in a circle again because if he's nasty to me his excuse is, "I'm just getting you back for what you did to me." I literally do everything for him, I drive 240 miles every weekend to see him when he NEVER comes to see me, I do all his washing and ironing and I pay for well over 50% of the things we do. I'm really confused because he does make me cry a lot and feel rubbish about myself but then when it's time to leave him I get all upset and don't want to go. I cry almost every single day we are apart because of how much I miss him. I really do love him and want things to work but I don't know how to make him see that all the arguments aren't just because of me. It sounds really silly saying how much I love him because he has also cheated on me when he went on a night out. He only kisse the girl but to me that is cheating. He also accuses me of cheating with my ex behind his back, something I would never do to him and also I haven'e spoken to my ex in well over a year. I'm just struggling with why someone who says they love me so much can suddenly turn on me when I try and explain to him that he has upset me. I know everyone would say "oh just leave him, you deserve better" but it's not as easy as that. He is the only person I've got and I'm super scared of losing that but I don't like the way he treats me sometimes. I don't have anyone to turn to and I'm so tired of crying and being upset all the time. Can anyone offer me any advice?
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Sad and alone
Depression Support / by KJ001
Last post
 January 18th, 2018
...See more Hi, This is the first time I've ever done something like this and its a really scary thing so please bare with me! I'm a 20 year old girl who is currently studying in my last year of university. I think for me feeling sad and alone is something that has been a constant battle. I was severley bullied at school but luckily for me I had a small group of friends who really helped me through. It is only in the past 6 months or so that I've really hit my lowest point. I lost all of my friends, each of them from going to uni in different places and not really having the time to see each other and having boyfriends so they're with them often. I have tried on mulitple occasions to meet up with them but it never happens. The last time we properly spoke was over a month ago and since then my messages have been ignored and they have never bothered to message me. I often sit and get really upset because of how alone I feel, I never thought I would be in the position where I feel like I have no one and I'm sat contemplating what is actually good in my life. I do have a boyfriend and we have been together for a while but he goes to uni too, over 2.5 hours away, so he can't always be around to help me feel less lonely. Sometimes he can get frustarted with me because I cry a lot and he doesn't really understand because he is the type of person who loves his own company, whereas I don't. I feel like there must be a reason why no one wants to be my friend or spend time with me and it has made me feel so empty. I've had thoughts like "what's the point anymore?" on a few occassions but manage to snap myself out of them. I do have a family but the relationships are tubrulent with some of them because of different reasons and therefore don't feel like spending a lot of time with them. They also all have their own lives and jobs etc and I don't want to place a burden on anyone. I try to distract myself by having a long shower or painting my nails or watching something on TV but nothing seems to work. I'm really scared that I'm always going to feel like this. I've tried going to societies at uni but it's always really awkward when you're on your own and everyone has made their own friendship groups. I really do just feel lost when all I want is to be happy. I'm not saying that I want to be in the company of someone all the time but knowing that I don't even have the option of it is really depressing. If anyone has any help or advice then that would be great! Thank you so much for reading my story
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