*TRIGGER WARNING* Kicked out of the house due to depression
I hope it's an ok thing for me to post this here... Although this is rough.
If you're severely depressed and/or easily triggered by domestic violence issues, please please, do not read this! Respect your own well-being.
I'll try to be concise.
I've told my parent that I've been suffering from severe depression for many many years and that I've always felt left out by them. It resulted in me being thrown out of the house. I also heard some unpleasant things, such as "you should go hang yourself", "if you're so depressed, then die from that depression of yours and I'll have my peace of mind at last" and a few other, but I don't think it would be appropriate to post such words here.
I try to see this as a part of some change process, but at the moment, I'm humiliated, upset and wrecked. I haven't cried much, but it all has certainly left an imprint on me. I can't free myself from those recurring thoughts, they keep ringing in my ears.
I just wonder, if there were a listener, anybody here, experienced and brave enough to be willing to talk to me, I would be inexplicably grateful. I feel so left out at the moment (due to many things, and this has just been nail in the coffin).
Thank you for reading this.
@greenEyes2019
Hi I have been reading and I feel sorry for what you have been through and still are. As you say maybe this is a part of a change that may happen in your life and in the end it might be positive, but still I can feel how much it hurts. Hope you have alternatives at the moment.I wish to send you a hug.
@annapaviacounselor, thank you.
I sometimes wonder if I should worry that much because people get physically abused, sometimes they're tortuted, some people live in abject poverty, some are forced to marry, and many more. I know there are issues way more complex than mine. But still, it's very hard to bear. So I would like to think of all this as some kind of "restart".
@greenEyes2019 Just beacause someone else has it worse does not invalidate your problems. It's okay to be sad. I guess looking at it like a "restart" is a positive way to look at this bad situation. You don't need someone who is abusive in your life. I hope you find someone who loves you and cares for you just the way you are because you definitely deserve to be loved.
@FriendlySlav, thank you for your support.
I'd like to think of the situation this way, and I'm trying, but there are moments where it's hard to believe. I do not know what keeps me going, I've started to slow down much again (my mood, productivity and wilingness have started to decrease dramatically). It's a nerve-wrecking experience and I don't wish that to anyone.
@greenEyes2019
yes it seems you are not in an easy situation, still there is a part of you who wishes to overcome this moment, the same part that has written here, cling to that part, if you feel lonely or need support talk to listeners here, there a lot of kind people helping you not to feel alone, struggling is hard, but if somebody is near you, it is a bit less. I wish you the best, you deserve it don't let others bring you down, don't believe negative voices, you are worth