advice please :(
I was always seen as the happy upbeat child who got things done and always did what i was told, but as i've grown up and as certain events passed i feel like i've lost that spark. sounds dumb ik. i try talking to my parents about how i feel and they hit me with 'how do you know youre depressed? how do you know you have anxiety? how do you know youre feeling what youre feeling?' idk. i dont know how i know how i feel but i know i dont feel the same. i know i dont feel happy like i used to. i know i cant properly cry anymore, at best i'll cry for two seconds and then my body just stops like its done crying but i still feel that ache in my chest. i know i get irritated/angry way easier and at the most minute little things. i've been labeled as dramatic and lazy for the way i act and im constantly in a battle with myself if i really feel the way i do or if im just making myself seem that way. i've gotten to the point where i hate myself and everything about me. i've pushed all the people in my life away because i dont want to be pitied or looked down on for the way i am and i dont even know what i'd say. and my mind is bouncing around all these problems, its like im repeatedly running into a wall in a room with no doors. i dont know what to do anymore. im so lost and confused and i feel stupid. sometimes i think itd be better if i wasnt here anymore
hey @limiv!
first of all your feelings need to be acknowledged, not minimized. so if your feeling anxious, it doesn't mean you have anxiety, but its true your feeling stressed. and the same is with all your other feelings.
You might want to psychoanalyze yourself and think about when those feelings started surfacing, and what was going on in your life at that time. compare your life as a child to now, and see what's different. this might lead you to nothing. it might just be that growing up, having more responsibilities, or you might have something that needs to be diagnosed.
whatever it is that's going on, you need to speak to somebody. some friends, mentors, a therapist. it looks like your trying to get support from your family, but you arent really getting it.
try thinking about things that make you happy, give you meaning... and start implementing them in your daily schedule. know that you are more powerful then your feelings. you can heal yourself, you can!
your fellow sufferer, Jo
