please help me
my mom seemed that she can't accept all the things happened to me and everything about me. she can't accept the fact that i am a tomboy, anti-social, and depressed.
she would always buy me like, girlish outfits that i don't like. i told her that it's my choice to like boyish stuffs, but she refused and forced me to do whatever she wanted meto.
i don't like family members being in my room. when she came into my room and was there for a long time, i explained that it's uncomfortable for me. i also explained toher that i am kinda anti social at school, and that i don't like having many friends. but she told me that i can just go away and leave alone if i am anti-social.
my mom sometimes defend my bully too. she told me that my bully was confident and wasn't anti social so she can be liked by people.
i have been bullied and depressed since i was 10 until now (i am now 12). instead of helping me out, my mom just made everything worse. i really wanted to runaway.
what should i tell her? what should i say to her?
Oh honey I am so sorry. If I were you, I would try to avoid her, which I do to my parents sometimes. But that won't really get you anywhere. Maybe you should seek help from someone else. Another family member, a teacher or school official, a friend? I would try to calmly explain things to your mom. I know that I sometimes get emotional in those moments and start to cry. Try your best to stay calm
your mom is being able it. I feel like what you should say is "it hurts me that you don't like my personality or accept me for who I am." however, I feel like your mom is going to make fun of that response because she doesn't know how to deal with feelings. you need to talk to a counselor or social worker at your school, and speak with them at least once a week. That way you'll have somebody to talk to And some way to get out your feelings to someone who will not be judgemental.
a bully, your mom is being a bully. My text to speech didn't get that right
I truly hope everything goes well for you xxx
I wonder if you could write down how you feel about some things in a letter to you Mom? I don't know what other people think about this. She isn't being understanding or supportive and she isn't listening.
It's not unreasonable to want privacy in your room. I've never gone into my son's room without knocking first and getting permission. (I mean since he wasn't a baby or toddler!)
I'm not gregarious...that is I don't like lots of people or need lots of friends. My husband, son, sister, nieces etc are all the same. You're not unusual and there's nothing weird about it.
I wishI could refer back to your post while I'm typing a reply! I'm sure there's something else I want to say.
Much love to you
I strongly advise you not to run away though. Please please don't do that. It's more dangerous than you can imagine out there for a vulnerable 12 year old.
I feel like your mom is doing and saying all of this because she wants you to be the the "ideal daughter" according to her but please know that there is nothing wrong with the way you are and maybe your mom is not ready to accept the fact that you are who you are. I think the best thing you can do right now is tell her the way you feel and if that doesn't help, you could try finding a middle ground between what your mom wants and what you want and a person who your mom trusts and likes and a person who you are comfortable with so that they can communicate between you two.
Its hard for parents to accept and understand what you are going through... I know that things feel worse when your own family cant understand or help you in your time of need. Its not that your mom doesnt love you... its that she doesnt understand and if she does its hard to accept.... The thing about parents is they want the best for their child. And i guess your mom thinks being more feminine and social is the best. I would say give it time and space. Don't let what your mom may say get to you. You are a strong person you will get through this. Trust me. I was the same. And everything that you feel right now, everything that you are going through... It will make you stronger. It will allow you to be someone that helps others. So think positive and keep your head up!
Sweetheart, I don't have much advice in these matters, except don't run away. All kids think about it at one point or another (even me, and I only made it to my neighbor's driveway! Lol!) But it won't solve anything. I can relate to your wanting boys clothes, let's face it they're comfy! And I relate to being anti social. I never wanted loads of friends, and that's normal! But perhaps you can work out a compromise with your mom with the help of a trusted adult at school. Having a person on your side of an argument who is objective will help.
It seems to me like your mom really cares about you and she's saying these things because she wants the best for you, she doesn't realize being a tomboy and anti-social are completely normal things, and even though socializing is important there are better ways of encouraging you in that. Running away is something we've all thought about at some stage but unless someone you are living with poses an actual danger to you, it will only make things far more difficult for you. As others have suggested try finding some local support through school councelling or even asking a teacher you trust who might be able to help you. Good luck :)
Just realized this was quite an old post that got bumped...woops