Do I have depression?

I am nearly 16 in year 11 and haven't been going to school since the end of year 10 due to anxiety. I have been feeling really low because I just seam to be hurting my family, I am causing my parents so much stress that my mum has had to take time off work to deal with me. She cries a lot because she is too stressed because of me. They are constantly trying to help me and are really supportive with everything but I hate myself because it I am hurting them like this. I think that everyone would be better off with me dead sometimes. I feel I don't have anything to live for, I seam to struggle more and more each year since I was in primary school and I don't think things will change at sixth-form or college. I am so dependent on my parents I don't think I would be able to live on my own or get a job in the future because I can't even go to school without struggling. I don't think I would ever want to be with anyone because I would just be hurting them too and bringing them down with me. I think that living beyond this point will only make me feel worst than I already feel.

I have autism and I think that everyone around me just thinks I am being dramatic or trying to get attention so I haven't told anyone how I have felt over the last year. I have only recently started having tutoring sessions to catch me up on the work I have been missing at school, at first I thought that these feelings just went away but I realised they hadn't I was just too distracted with tutoring to think about it. It builds up over the week and then at the weekend I just feel so overwhelmed with all this guilt and constant sadness that I spend the whole day in bed, either crying or sleeping to stop thinking about it.

I spend most of my day sleeping at weekends and when I am not doing something. I tend to wake up when it is dark. Most of the time it's not because I am tired but because I know I have nothing to wake up for, I know that if I have nothing to do then my mind will just think about how much of a burden I am on everyone and how unneeded I am, so I sleep to stop myself from thinking. I have always enjoyed doing creative things or reading or doing something but I haven't wanted to in a long time, all I do is sleep or watch TV because its mind numbing and I don't have to think.

I have really close friends at school that I have been friends with for years who I would normally see at school but I am not at school so I miss out on everything, I still meet up with them every now and then but I feel really left out especially when they are all talking about school or things they have already talked about at school. I think I have been replaced in the group at school just as I was leaving school a new girl joined the group who is really nice but I feel like she is my best friends new best friend now. I feel really isolated.

For a while I wouldn't even go downstairs to eat with my family and watch TV because every time I went downstairs someone ended up upset because of me.

I want to do something so badly to be more independent to help my family but because of my anxiety and autism I just end up struggling and making it worst on my parents.

I struggle to explain things sometimes so this doesn't fully show how I have been feeling.

I have felt this way for a while but it has gotten worst more recent, I want this all to go away but I can't even tell anyone because they wouldn't understand or they would think I am just being dramatic.

Do I have depression?