Does it ever get better

@treefrog1234 - Hello

I don't know if your male or female, but around 14 you could be going through standard hormonal changes (puberty) that could fuel some mood disorder(s).  How is your family life going? Friends? School?  Any of these making you feel uncomfortable and getting in the way of feeling good about yourself?  I assume/hope that your doctors have already asked these questions, and nothing obvious came to mind.  Depression can happen if we don't engage with others (humans are social creatures).  May you find a pathway out... it does get better.

I'm 17, knew how it was going to end since i was 12 but couldn't do it last month on the rails, i was kinda frozen when the trainn rushed by. Some people even saw me standing there, but they didn't care enough to talk to me. So no, it won't get better, unless u start to drink and party so u can be with the cool kids, i think that would've been my last way out

@treefrog1234

Getting help so early is what can help the most. I also had been depressed since childhood, got worse at 13. i wish i got a therapist back then, but i didn't talk to anyone about it, completely isolated myself and kinda turned off my emotions. So when i went to university i didn't know how to talk to people, how to feel normal human emotions. So i got really depressed, got a therapist, got antidepressants, but they didn't work for me. Because that's when i thought i should become happy, but i didn't. My advice rn, don't hide yourself and your problems, it will only make it worse when you actually try to enter society. I didn't know how to make friends. Took a 2 years after leaving my hometown to find a person and become close, but i lost them too because i didn't know how to literally be close to someone. Got into drinking, cause i didn't want to continue living the day. Now moved back to my hometown and starting again

I would ask your therapist to maybe give you another drug if you've been taking it for a while and no result, cause i was on mine for 1,5 years and it was actually making me worse. I was overly sensitive and everything seemed worse than it was. But it also clouded my judgement, so i didn't realize the harm it was doing.

So, talk to people. If you think no one gets you, it might be true, but still try. Talk to people you don't like, it doesn't matter, you don't need to find friends for life, you need to just feel like you're a part of humanity for now. I thought I'm better off alone and that was probably my biggest mistake. Maybe try another drug, some things work for some people, some for others.

And don't listen to the person who told you to start drinking and going to parties, that's insane advice from a person that's hurting.

If also recommend research about mental health, you seen to be doing it already so that's great.

I'm better now. I'm not taking any drugs, but I'm not a therapist to tell you that you shouldn't either, you might have done disorder, so you might need it. I'd ask more that 1 psychiatrist for their opinion.

It definitely gets better, with time, you get resilient to things that bring you pain. So if you're not doing things to bring you more piston and doing you best to feel better, you will get better.

You're not doomed, if the depression started so young, there was a reason for it, you can't be born depressed. You can be born with higher chance of being neurotic, so might talk to your family about their struggles with mental health. You can live with it, you can learn to deal with it in healthy ways. I think i get how you feel, and when i was 16 i made a choice to not care about how i feel and just hope it magically becomes better in a few years. Don't do that, start working on being well now.