I need help
i am a teenager in highschool, who's always been told that i have attitude issues. i understand that alot of the times it is my fault and i need to work on my issues, but i feel like sometimes it's my own family not seeing me.
for example, my mom would begin to get angry at me, and then proceed to yell at me when i haven't raised my voice yet or anything. In return, I'd respond the same way, getting angry and raising my voice because i'd angry at her. On top of that, i'd be very confused and frustrated because she'd yell at me for having an attitude when she started it first.
next, my dad will give me lectures about how I act, but he'd say things that will stick into my mind and that I find hurt, making me more angry and frustrated. he'd say things like "you keep acting like that and you'll become a prostitute" or "look in the mirror and I hope you see yourself for who you are, a snake", or "you keep this up and no one will ever love you or even tolerate you"
I don't understand my parents, I think they just say things they see but they can never see or understand how I am perceiving them despite them always yelling at me for my attitude and how I am perceived by others. my dad will say things like I'm trying to rebel or im trying to think i am so *** when I am clearly not and I have no thought of thinking myself like that.
i've always been insecure about my teeth, my body, my face, my hair, my eyes, so i don't understand why he says things like that. I honestly think they don't even like me and only deal with me because i am still a minor and I am their kid. I think they prefer my younger brother over me because he doesn't have what I have or do what I do.
everything that's been happening, I've had minor suicidal thoughts and I've been just seeing myself alone for the rest of my life. I am so confused, frustrated, angry, and sad, I don't know how to go with my life right now.
@amicableWheel799
🥺
I'm sorry you are struggling and you feel that you have no support.
You are not a bad person and you process things differently.
That's fine.
It's about finding healthy coping mechanisms that will allow you to say how you feel without just reacting.
I genuinely wish you the best 💕💜
@amicableWheel799
Wow. You have a lot of adults in your life letting you down.
Children learn from the adults around them. So if you do "have an attitude", the first thing is to realise that you are not to blame for it - the adults who didn't teach you better are.
What you can do is break the chain - be the one that makes the change that stops this behaviour being passed on to anyone else. This is not easy. You have to learn a new way, when it doesn't sound like you will have any help from those around you. Our habits are hard to change, you'll repeatedly find yourself slipping into old habits. But each time you do something different, that's a win. Celebrate those wins.
Unfortunately it sounds like you are going to have to be the adult in your life. Which is totally unfair. But come here whenever you need support. And look for support around you. Does your school have a counsellor?
@amicableWheel799 I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's understandable for you to have these thoughts and feelings, you do not deserve to be treated that way, and it's hard when it's your own parents 🙁 Your feelings are completely valid, and I'm really glad you're here, reaching out, instead of bottling things up 🤍 You're not alone in this, We're all here for you, and you truly matter ❤️ Sending you lots of love and *hugs* 🐾💕
@amicableWheel799
It makes complete sense that life at home feels so heavy and confusing right now. Living in a place where anger, criticism, and harsh words come first can make anyone feel trapped, unheard, and frustrated. Feeling hurt, angry, or sad in response to being blamed for an “attitude” — especially when yelling or harsh words start the conflict — is natural. It does not mean anything is wrong with who you are.
The things said by your parents — comparisons, insults, and threats about the future — are deeply painful and unfair. It is understandable that these words stick in your mind and intensify insecurities about appearance, self-worth, and belonging. Feeling frustrated or angry in response does not make you bad; it shows that you care about being seen and understood, even when the people around you cannot see it. Feeling alone, misunderstood, or hurt in these moments is valid and natural.
It is normal that all of this leaves you confused and even occasionally thinking about giving up. These thoughts are signs of how heavy the emotional load is — they are not signs of weakness or failure. Wanting to be loved, understood, and treated fairly is human, and longing for connection does not make anyone “difficult” or “wrong.”
Even in this environment, it is possible to take steps to protect yourself, process emotions, and reclaim some peace. Some ways to do this include:
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Pause and ground yourself during conflicts: Taking a few deep breaths, stepping away for a moment, or focusing on something calm can prevent escalation and protect emotional energy. Pausing doesn’t erase feelings; it gives the mind space to respond instead of react.
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Use safe emotional outlets: Writing, drawing, music, or other creative expression can provide a way to release the emotions that cannot be shared in the home. These outlets are powerful ways to acknowledge and validate feelings privately.
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Set small personal routines: Daily acts of self-care — like grooming, dressing in clothes that feel comfortable, stretching, or taking a walk — can create a sense of control and stability even when home life feels chaotic.
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Practice internal validation: When harsh words are said, quietly remind yourself: “Their words do not define me. I am more than what they say.” This helps slowly build a sense of self-worth independent of external judgment.
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Find safe connections outside the home: Trusted friends, mentors, school staff, or supportive online communities can listen without judgment, providing validation, understanding, and relief from isolation. Even small connections can make a difference.
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Acknowledge long-term hurt: Repeated criticism and comparison can leave lasting emotional scars. Allow yourself to feel that hurt privately and treat it with compassion. Feeling anger, sadness, or frustration in response to unfair treatment is valid and shows strength, not weakness.
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Celebrate small moments of resilience: Every time you express feelings safely, step back from a conflict, or take care of yourself, you are practicing strength and self-respect. These small acts accumulate over time and help reclaim a sense of calm and stability.
It is okay to feel alone, frustrated, and misunderstood. Those feelings are real and valid. The challenges in your home are not a reflection of your value, potential, or worth. Over time, through self-compassion, private expression, small routines, and safe connections, it is possible to rebuild a sense of safety, clarity, and hope — even when the environment around you is difficult.
You deserve to be seen, heard, and treated with respect. Your feelings are important, and your worth is not defined by anyone else’s words or anger. Taking steps, even small ones, toward protecting and nurturing yourself is a quiet, powerful act of courage and strength.
@amicableWheel799I’m really glad you reached out. What you’re dealing with is not your fault. Being yelled at, insulted, or called names by parents is deeply hurtful, and anyone in your place would feel confused, angry, and shut down. Their words are not a reflection of your worth.
