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fossilfellow
168 62,912 M Confident Walk 9
PathStep 91 Compassion hearts19,643 Forum posts11,826 Forum upvotes19,473 Current upvotes19,473 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceMay 15, 2025
Bio

healing

love being here

Recent forum posts
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My dad had surgery today.
Family & Caregivers / by fossilfellow
Last post
 1 hour ago
...See more My dad had angioplasty done few hours ago he had been feeling pain around his chest area and my elder sis took him to the doctor this morning. He'll be under observation for two days in the hospital. I hope everything will be okay 🙁💚
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@fossilfellow Addiction Recovery. *T.W*
Addiction Support / by fossilfellow
Last post
 1 hour ago
...See more I'm making this new thread, and I decided to make some changes. I realize that the previous method I was doing is a trap, which keeps me stuck in an exhausting pattern. To be completely honest with myself and my healing, I'm switching to a Traffic Light System. 🟢 Green - I stayed completely clean all day. No intentional engagement with triggers. 🟡 Yellow - I have a brief slip or a boundary cross that I successfully stopped within 5 minutes. ( This resets my green streak, but let's me save my overall streak before hitting red. ) 🔴 Red - A full relapse, or engaging in triggering loops for more than 5 minutes. Resets the overall streak back to Day 1. This will be incredibly difficult for me, but I want to heal, and be a normal healthy person. I will do my best 🤍
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@fossilfellow Addiction Streak 🤍 *T.W*
Addiction Support / by fossilfellow
Last post
 July 27th
...See more I've been struggling a lot with my addiction, and it feels like it keeps getting worse, and I just want to make this thread here so I can track my progress. I'm not sure how many time I'll post here, maybe multiple times a day sometimes. Idk, hope this helps 🤍
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I had a bad experience today *T.W*
Anxiety Support / by fossilfellow
Last post
 April 8th
...See more I was in a shop just now, it's evening, getting my shoe fixed.. then there was a guy in his 30s who was engaging with me in talks.. at first it all felt normal, he was giving compliments and stuff, trying to give gym advices, it all felt so genuine... but then things started getting weird, and he was acting really weird, dancing, and touching my legs and even after knowing I'm seventeen he was engaging and all.. I still didn't step back. I felt like he might be genuinely interested in talkin and knowing about the gym, and diet, after sometime he started getting very aggressive and weird while talking... askin for my phone which i luckily didn't had, mentioning his niece and telling me to teach her how to do gym and after sometime i smelled beer in him, and I felt very uneasy and immediately stepped back and distanced myself from him and quickly got home. and talked with my sis about the incident... I feel really dumb for engaging with the stranger for that long. I should've been more careful and even tho I felt aware during the situation.. I still didn't step back sooner 🙁 even tho it isn't the first time this has happened to me — Idk how I'm supposed to trust someone in public after these kinda incidents.
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Fossilfellow's Books Tracker 🤍
Reading & Writing / by fossilfellow
Last post
 May 7th
...See more I'll be tracking the books I read here, I'm trying to re-build my habit of reading, and hopefully enjoy to process <3 Any book recommendations would be much appreciated 🥰 @jesusredeemedme2425 @Amanda84 ❤️❤️❤️
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Taking a break.
Motivation & Accountability / by fossilfellow
Last post
 March 1st
...See more I have decided to take a break from cups, and focus on my studies and personal life. I'll be having an exam on February, and it's really important, I'm very behind and weak in my studies. This place and people here mean a lot to me. I'm very unsure about how long this break will be, maybe I'll check in ocationally, I'm feeling scared about stepping away, but i hope I'm doing the right thing. I'll miss you all a lot. 🙁💝
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***T.W*** [ self hatred, complex trauma ]
Trauma Support / by fossilfellow
Last post
 October 18th, 2025
...See more Please do not tell me to seek professional help right now, I'm safe, and I've seeked help, before.. and I will if I need to. I just need to write this. I feel scared... I fear that these feelings will always keep haunting me, it's been months. I still sometimes get flashbacks of the things I was doing, it's always a lingering feeling... 🙁 I had a nightmare last night.. and I'm questioning why am I not feeling bad about that. I feel like I'm just trying to make things worse by bringing those things up. I feel like a horrible human... I sometimes feel shamelees even calling myself human. I feel unsafe with myself sometimes. I question if what had happened was that even me or not. I sometimes feel numb when I remember the things I used to watch and do. The comments... and what my - addictions led myself into... Why i clicked those links, why i searched, why I got there... I fear blaming others, anyone. for that. I'm tired, to explain myself... I want to, but i can't.. I feel like I'll just be exposed, misunderstood and no one will truly love me.. no one. I just can't help but feel really bad about myself 🙁 I'm shameless. I hate myself for saying these words. But i can't help it right now. I'm just sometimes disgusted of myself for spreading so much harm online.. I'm guilty... I feel really sad 😥 I've broken trust, I don't feel safe sometimes... I feel messed up.. I've always felt this way.. I feel like I've always been messed up. Since I was young... I fear blaming someone.. I'll just be playing a victim card I feel. Why did I kept going deeper, and kept interacting with strangers... It's my fault, maybe i always had these instructive thoughts in me. maybe it's genetics... I was heavily exposed to disturbing things online since I was young... I feel sick and I get headache when I even type about these things. I'm even scared to mention any of that here. Im scared that I'll get bullied .. being told to --- myself, and being called a p- like I was... all that time. I fear being judged for seeking help, for putting word to my feelings... to real ones, I'm just trying to be healthy... I'm trying, I just need to feel validated I feel... I crave validation.. 😥 I'm sick of chatgpt for seeking validation always.. I just need to feel seen... for who I was and who I'm right now. In this moment. to just be acknowledged that I'm not beyond help... I don't want to hide behind a mask forever, Especially here, in a support community... I'm sorry.
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