i don’t wanna be like this anymore
i feel really awful right now. idk imo nothing’s really wrong but everything just feels so wrong???? i don’t get it. i’ve always felt this way and i’ve always felt bad about it.
compared to other people, i don’t think i really experienced a lot of hardships. i don’t have a deep trauma paralyzing me either. i’m not sure. i don’t trust my brain and my memories.
but i just don’t get why i can’t be happy? just why? everything seems fine but it doesn’t feel that way. it’s just stupid. i honestly feel like i’m just being dramatic. i really don’t deserve to live. i have so much to be thankful for but i still felt like wanting to d**
tbh, i think of myself as someone who have a privileged upbringing (although we’re not rich rich). so yes, i should just be thankful for what i have. i tried. but i can’t help but feel miserable in my mind. i’ve always wondered why i can’t feel happy or contented in my life. and i’ve long believed that i am the problem - i’ve always been.
i mean, sure, there are times when horrible things have happened in my life but it’s nothing compared to what others have gone through. i’ve heard a lot of traumatizing stories from others and it’s nothing compared to mine. i’d feel bad for them but i’d feel glad in secret that i didn’t experience any of that. so why am i like this? why am struggling to live when i have it much better than others.
am i just that weak? am i so weak that simply existing and living in this world is already difficult enough- for me?
i feel like something is terribly wrong with me since birth… and i hate it. i hate everything and everyone. i know it’s wrong. that’s why i don’t want to be like this anymore.
@wormbloke
I understand how that feels because i can too relate with you 🙁
It is really extremely awful feeling this way when nothing is exactly wrong but not good or happy either, please know you're not alone ❤️
I'm glad you've tried being thankful as they say practicing gratitude can help but i get how it might not work for everyone or just not very soon as it needs consistent efforts
Would you like to try writing somewhere what all you don't like/ hate and "why" do you hate it and then you can also try to think of ways of making it better and to replace the "i hate this" with "i enjoy/ love this"
If you really don't want to live this way then please take the control of your life and find out things you like about yourself and about life, make lists of things you enjoy, any hobbies etc whatever works try to engage yourself doing things you like and being around people you like
It will be near to impossible at first but it is very much possible and if you really try then you'll be able to turn things around one by one
I have faith in you ❤️
this is really helpful. thank you, i appreciate it. and i’ll follow your advice!
Hey,I’m glad you reached out!
I definitely recommend to try being more content with the world around you. As humans, we sometimes want to be in control of anything and everything. It is sometimes aggravating when we can’t get what we reach at. It’s almost destructive to think this way.
What I definitely recommend to you is trying to be happy with what is going on in the moment and letting it pass to move on to better ones. I know it seems sometimes like they never come, but they always end up rolling around. Just be patient, think less, and smile more. You can breathe, see, and hear just fine. There’s a whole world around you. Just breathe in and feel how awesome it is to be alive.
You can do this! We all believe in you!
@wormbloke
I am so happy to hear it ❤️