Finding a spot to be open

Ive had multiple bouts of depression in life, but never really got help. Therapy is too expensive and I dont even have the time now. I tried getting help on the university level since they offer free counseling but after a diagnostic, during a real low-point in my life, they asked me to come back more than a month later. So three years later, Im in my senior year of university, stressed out from a lot of things besides school. My grandma recently relapsed in cancer and my mother was diagnosed two weeks ago and Ive just been dealing with things day to day. I dont really have anybody to talk about this stuff since I dont have siblings, I dont want to worry my mother (she has her own problems since shes physically disabled and very manic depressive) and I only really have one friend and we dont talk about emotional stuff. I hate bothering people about my problems too so I hope I can find a spot to be more open. Most people I know dont know what happens behind the scenes in my life because I always act happy. I think maybe 2 or 3 people I know(I know a lot of people) know the real me. One person is my age and two are staff members at my university