Hello. This is what I am going through.
Good day. How do you do?
Alizarin here.
Okay, here we go. Been extremely blessed to be hired by a brand I really like, been working here for almost a month. Feeling like quitting.
Colleagues are some of the kindest people I have ever met. They are willing to be my mentor and teach me everything they know. They are open-minded and wish for a better team.
The only thing is, I become incresingly stressed out both at work and the idea of having to go to work. Shivering, have trouble breathing, and appears to be stressed. Even having anxiety attacks. I have night sweats due to antidepressants and often wake up with hypothermia. (I will be consult my psychiatrist regarding the matter)
I feel sorry for appearing reluctant to communicate and reluctant to change, thus learning to be a part of the team.
They are frustrated, probably more than I do.
I feel like they misunderstand me, as much as I do not understand their expectations and standards.
Actions speak louder than words. I have made numerous mistakes and even the most basic things were brought up multiple times, I want to be more professional but I feel like I may not be the right person for the team.
I know my performance is lacking and that is nowhere near what I can do. At least not comparing with my previous job.
Or was I really underachieveing and my colleagues from my previous job hates me too?
Thank you for taking your time reading my story and I wish you all the best.
@Alizarin1205
I appreciate you acknowledging our limitations at 7Cups, about medical advice, and solely allowing us insight into how life is for you now. I'm glad you'll be consulting with a medical professional soon about that issue.
About work though- it seems as though you're experiencing something many people endure called imposter syndrome. I'm sure you may have heard of it but in the off chance this is new to you, or you would like to learn more, you can literally google or youtube search: "Ted Talks Imposter Syndrome" and sift through some of the videos they have there- they're pretty insightful.
No one is expected to be perfect. Nobody is hired because they're perfect. We're hired when we seem like we'll fit in with everyone, and because we have the potential to do great things for a company.
It's no coincidence they saw something in you.
But self-doubt will always hold us back from fulfilling our potential. Our self-doubt isn't aligned with reality, it's aligned with our insecurities and fears. I've found it really helpful to practice mindfulness techniques and finding affirmations that reassure me of my true purpose.
One that has been saving me lately is, "I am not here to be perfect. I am here to learn and grow."
What affirmations can you think of that might be helpful to you?
