I'm not used to this....

Most of my life I've been described as a "happy go lucky person." Ever since I got married & had kids I feel like Ive been battling on & off again depression. Isn't this supposed to be the happy time in my life? I feel like I've lost so much more than my name. My husband does the bare minimum to get by... & that's in every aspect of life, jobs, affection, communication. At first I thought it was maybe an adjustment period but it's not changing. I was recently attacked/jumped by a group of meth heads & it's reeeaaaalllly sent me over the edge. I feel uncertain about everything & mostly my marriage. Once the attack was done & the cops showed my husband was approx. 6ft away the whole time. Didn't hold me, didn't do much of anything, until we got to the hospital & it was a kiss on the forehead. I try to make my feelings known but it causes a fight or I'm just ignored. I haven't expressed much since the meth heads.... I just feel so alone. Even when I'm with him. I used to think I could rely on him for anything & I used to feel so safe with him, but I'm finding I can't rely on him or feel safe with him like I used to.