New Ranger thrown into the Dungeon of the Brain Goblins
Hello folks. I'm a relatively nerdy (if that wasn't obvious) 26 year old male who's been dealing with depression for a long time. Since 7th grade. Been going it alone for a while as I'd managed pretty well and I'd say there are times things got bad but never to the levels they were back when I was first diagnosed. Lately things have been worse than usual though and I had a stunning realization that I'd developed a bad habit that's led to a really shitty depression fueling loop. Been associating self worth with how I am perceived by others. So hoping to work on breaking that with some professional help and hoping I can at least beat back THAT brain goblin for good.
Hi @DamianKutsch
That sounds rough... I'm glad to hear that you are planning to eliminate the goblin and that you are reaching out here ♡
I read it once somewhere that it is not external approval that affects mental health but 'looking for external approval' that plays a part in many mental health issue.
What's your opinion about that?
Personally I feel like that phrase doesn't really cover the nuance of external approval and how it relates to mental health. Mind you this comes from a bias of someone who has a bad experience and depression triggers around external approval so season with salt as you will. I feel like external approval definitely effects mental health. Less so maybe for adults because we've grown out of it being a major need especially in our social circles, but it definitely effects kids and teens. To the point where I would argue it is the biggest and easiest tool to use to manipulate kids and teens and is IMHO the underlying force behind why bullies and bullying can be seen as the cool thing to do. External approval IMHO is essential for kids and teens, because a lot of their lives are revolved around it. I mean there is the parent-kid dynamic which while not inherently harmful can contribute to negative mental health if the parent side of said dynamic skews it. Then there is the dynamic of social circles at school. Those are built entirely on external approval and you do not have to be seeking it for it to effect your mental health. I mean sure a bully might target someone who is directly seeking approval over someone who isn't but bullying can still target those not actively seeking approval and effect their mental health. It doesn't even have to be active bullying either. Just not feeling like you belong or not feeling like anyone does like you within a social circle is definitely going to affect a young mind. So yeah. In short, definitely think it is not just the looking for external approval aspect but the dynamic our society has around external approval.
@DamianKutsch
I feel you have a great point there.
Please correct me if I got it wrong ♡ The social dynamic in society creates the feeling of approval or disapprovals even when someone not particularly seeking for it. Still lack of feeling approved by society affect mental health, specially for kids and teens.
What about internal approval? In your opinion, is it play a part in creating the goblin?
