im hope and im new to this community

well i have terrible depression i cry all the time and i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder .. it is terrible honestly my depression is just like in the movies where your crying all the time but its so much worse than just crying. some people dont understand that and i want the people to realize im not fine and that im falling apart inside i really want to cry half of the time...ive been struggling with depression and anxiety and ptsd and bpd for a while a long while ptsd since i was 9 or 10 or even younger ages alot of things have happened to me.. but iam trying to overcome it.. my depression really started at 12 or 11 i just want someone to help and i do have a therapist i have had multiple therapists too and ive been in hospitals and therapy since i was 13 and im now 16 i was in hospitals for 2 years from 14 to just about 16... let me tell you they are addicting to me cuz i felt like someone actually cared and then when you leave you realize they never did ... thats the hard part but i want to say hello and thanks for listening if you want to comment go ahead