Brotherly Talk - Is it my fault?

My brother sat down with me the other night and talked to me about the way I treat my father now, and have treated him in the past. Granted I have not been the calmest, nicest daughter, he has always taken the brunt of my anger, at life, at me, at Cerebral Palsy. And I except that I I could of treated him better, and am sorry for this. I hardly ever saw my mother when I was younger, even when she was home from work, she worked away a lot. She would very quickly go upstairs to her bedroom, where I can not get, and this would upset me further. At times like this, I felt like she wasn't ever home.

But my father, didn't really know how to treat me correctly, he would bully me quite strongly when I was younger. And go from treating me as if I were 5 to my actual age in the same sentence. I told this to my brother, who simply argued that my father did this as a result of the time in which he was raised. Does this mean I'm supposed just forgive the way he treated me? I mean he was, or rather is emotionally abusive in ways I dont even believe he is aware of. He would do things like turn the eletric off on my wheelchair, as a form of punishenebtb if I misbehaved. He didn't understand how to me this was a kin to tying me up. He would put me in bed where I couldn't move, which would have a similar result to this. The worse part of his treatment is the 'jokes', where he moves things that I attempt to reach for slightly out of my reach. I personally don't understand how this was ever funny. I didn't even do anything, he just used me to get a laugh.

Both my mother and father are now quite ill, but my father especially still emotionally abuses me. As I have no physical way to fight back, I become very vocal, Its my only weapon. When he agrivates me to a certain point, I will argue back. And according to my brother this has made me responsable for my fathers increasing illness. His arguement is that he gets stressed by my farther as well, and does not argue back.

But here is my argument, my brother is unable to fully comprehend the way that my Rtreatment of me has affected me. This on top of the struggles I already face, make my life more complex than he realises. My brother however believes that are treatment is similar. So proceded to tell me that for my I need to forgiive him. Honestly I would forgive him if he was willing to at least liaten to what people had to say. H