What I once loved
I used to love playing the violin, running, doing gymnastics, riding my bike or my skates, shouting, laughing, studying, painting, working with clay, writing stories, dancing, singing, and so much more... but now, none of that remains; everything has turned into the dust of what I once loved. My legs had hurt since I was little, and yet I kept going... but the situation gradually worsened. Sometimes I can't walk, I can't write, I can't dance; my classmates used to look at me strangely. After so long, I finally received a full diagnosis: fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, costochondritis,insomnia, a stiff neck, severe spasms, etc.—and that causes me emotional distress and anxiety. People will ask me, as they always do: "So young and dealing with all that?" "A girl barely seventeen, and already like this?" When that happens, I will simply look away with teary eyes, just as I have done countless times before.
It's kinda annoying that it's age based as though, if you're young you're automatically healthy.
It just happens to some of us, that we are not. We struggle, we have good and bad days.
It's just our life, we are used to it, or resigned to it. It doesn't mean we are coping badly or well. It just means, it's not changing, I have to adapt.
