Isolated in my bathroom due to Misophonia

My name is Tyler, not my old alias; I haven’t used this account in 7 years. This is an impulsively written post, since I’m so done with this horrible disability. I was in my room not doing much, when out of no where my dad walks downstairs. He walks heavy, something he also can’t control, a HUGE noise trigger of mine. So the most arbitrary, intense anger boots up, triggering super violent thoughts. I’ve worn noisy earbuds 14 hours a day to avoid this noise for 5 years, and nothing blocks it. This makes me retreat to the bathroom for the well over 100th time, spouting loud, vindictive thoughts toward this disorder. This ONE issue is the sole reason I’m chronically stressed, I’m completely isolated, anxious and stressed. Like I have the cognitive capacity to do anything, but this ONE ISSUE makes me completely disabled. My inner ears sound like computer fans right now from the torment they’ve endured for 5 years. Sorry if rants aren’t allowed, I need support. My only contact I have is with my head that insists others will say I’m playing victim towards this disorder. This disorder isn’t me, I’m a very nice guy who appears not as such due to how often I’m tormented by noise.