Newly Disabled
I am newly disabled due to a cancer diagnoses. The treatments lead to a paralyzed left foot. I have to wear an AFO when I go out. I never go long distances because I can’t physically do it. I am extremely sad and depressed. I’m used to be 120 lbs 2 years ago. Oh! I also had 2 hip surgeries which did not help the walking or the weight. Currently 195 lbs. I’m a fat, disabled, ugly, sick piece of crap. I used to be so beautiful and now I’m not. I know it sounds egotistical but it was all I had. I experienced childhood neglect and abuse and carried that into adulthood where I did many things to myself that was harmful to only myself while I was caretaking a narcissistic father whom left the moment I found out I had cancer.
Hi @alexellman. I am so sorry this has happened to you.
I also wear AFOs so I can understand how painful and annoying they can be😩 It is very challenging when going from being able to run or do certain activities that one can no longer do. It is okay to be mad and upset about it because in a way it is unfair. It seems like everything going on in your life has just overwhelmed you right now. That is a very valid reason to feel the way you do.
It sounds like you have some unresolved trauma that is still affecting your life. While I will never understand fully what you are going through to an extent I can understand what you are saying. When I start to feel I am losing all I have I try to find the positives in each day and ask myself why I love myself. Sometimes the positive is that I am alive and that is okay if that is the positive. I found it doesn't always have to be the big things to lift my mood. I hope things in your life start to go better and remember, we are all here to support you in any way we can! ❤️