Eating but don't feel better
So I was in treatment for 6 months of all different levels. Now I'm back in the real world at college and trying to stick to recovery. But now Bc I'm eating I want to self harm or replace the restricting with some other behavior that makes me feel more in control and safe and numb. Is this normal?
@faithfulmap2283 - that's definitely normal. Because your eating disorder served a purpose in your life as a coping mechanism / way for you to have control, now that you have dealt with the physical side of it, but not the mental side, you still have those needs.
What's important now is to focus on learning healthier coping mechanisms that you can lean on instead. Are you in any form of treatment now or talking to your school counselors? You could ask to work with them on that or you could look at alternate coping mechanisms online and try some things out until you find one that helps you feel better without causing yourself harm.
And if you ever just need to talk through things to distract yourself for a bit, there are loads of listeners here would would love to support you. Take care!