Mental health services label me as an "attention seeker"
Basically i just get called an "attention seeker" from health "professionals" for my anorexia. Their facts are based on the fact i have spent most of my childhood being abused and neglected. And they tell me starving myself was a way to seek "perfect care" from others. And because im a very shy person i wouldnt exactly tell people i feel low and only show by my actions. Which means i lose weight to be noticed and someone to care about me. Which i think is completly wrong i didnt have control over my abusive life so i just control other things and got frustated.
Im not even trying to make seeking attention as a bad thing. Cause of corse i love attention. I dont want to be ignored my whole life. No one does. But its not a way i would get attention
They told me the other day "i havent meet anyone else who went out looking to have anoreixa" which hit me like a ton of bricks and really upset me. Cause i wish i had all this control i was being made out to have and like i choose all this. Honestly if i could eat normally and love myself i would. I do so much hiding my eating disoder and feel massive amounts of shame when someone notcies something. And i hated it when my friends figured out have anorexia. So i know its not for attention.
I feel like im being completly miss understood and would like someine to understand how low my EDmakes me feel and not something im just doing just cause i want to.
And just not sure anyone else gets call this for having anorexia or if its wrong to be called this all the time.
@littlePapaya7379 I am so sorry to hear that you've had to go through this, it was 100% not right of them to say any of those things to you. I've heard of it happening before, and really I just think that people don't understand eating disorders when they saythings like that. They don't understand that it's not a choice, that you're not seeking it out, that it's really impacting your life and that you are so so brave and strong for seeking help with it through the services. These people should not be working in mental health, or at the very least, should have let others handle an anorexia case if they don't handle the topic well.
There's nothing wrong with attention, but anorexia is not about attention. And even if for some person is it, so what? That doesn't mean it's not a difficult thing that should be taken seriously. And for someone to look at your abusive past and say that...what are they even doing in mental health services? That is no way to treat someone who has been abused and who is currently facing a difficult disorder.
I hope you don't let this get to you too much, it is clearly a problem with them, not you. I agree, I think you are being misunderstood and that you deserve someone much better. I wish that you can find someone with more compassion and understanding for what you're going through 
@TaranWanderer
Thank you.
Im glad you agree.
I do tell them all the time that theres a massive difference between seeking attention to seeking help. But they stick to calling me an attention seeker. Like i am not sad or anything and my brain just thought "people will show they care if i lose weight" make it sound like i have ful control and could stop any minute. And like my cure would be having loads attention off everyone. I wouldnt even be bothered if they said - i do it because i am sad and i want someone to notice that. But they may aswell say i am not sad and just say that for attention too.