Need help--new to this disorder
I am a 44 year old woman who's been suffering from anxiety, agoraphobia, depression, panic attacks which all stem from PTSD from childhood abuse. I've been dealing with these issues on and off for about 17 years. I have been dealing with all of these to a severe degree since I lost my job in January. Anorexia started then but has become much worse in the last two months. I've lost almost 30% of my body weight this year. Being mildly overweight previously, I'm still not technically underweight but I eat very few calories/day....very few. I'm unhealthy and am very weak. I've researched refeeding but can't even get to the store right now to get the kind of foods I need to eat. Anytime I eat, I become ill. I don't purge, but vomit involuntarily or have diarrhea. I desperately want to eat more, but my body just won't allow me. I'm crying as I write this. I am incredibly scared. Anything helpful you can share would be deeply appreciated!
I am so sorry you lost your job and you are going through a rough time, its certainly having a huge impact on your life right now, but let me tell you that you have done the right thing reaching out here, because it's not always easy to do this, there are many people here who can emotionally support you here.
Just a suggestion, can you order your groceries on line and have them delivered to you? Whilst your feeling very low?
It's a know fact that our energies are generated by the foods we consume, I understand you are eating very little right now and are having problems vomiting afterwards, may I suggest you try to eat small portions of high fibre foods, or foods that do not contain added salts or fats, this may help, and not aggravate your stomach. Also, drink plenty of water to keep your body hydrated, I think once you start to contain more calories this may help you become more confident and able to look at your other issues.
You have a lot going on right now, it's important to try and remain focused, deal with each issue separately and set small achievable goals so you are able to accomplish these, and again you will begin to feel more confident.
Thank you for your post @neonCamp3346 and I hope you are able to receive the help you so very much deserve. Good luck and stay positive
@SoonerAlumni - I think that @ProfessionalPerspective60 had some great suggestions and I wholeheartedly agree.
It's important to set small, achievable goals at first. If a full meal is making you ill, could you try doing smaller snacks throughout the day? Or is there a certain type of food that tends to be easier to eat that you can focus on initially? For some it's easier to eat larger volumes of lower-calorie foods, for others, small quantities of calorie-rich foods - can you test to see what's best for you? It may also help to consult a nutritionist, particularly one who specializes in eating disorders, as they would have a lot of experience with people struggling in similar ways to you.
More than anything, start slow, but don't stop working at recovery. You can get through this and there are people who want to help support you. You deserve to feel healthy and happy. Take care