New please help
Hello, I am new here and this is an extremely big step for me to be taking... I've suffered with anorexia for 12 years (I am 23) and BPD. I was discharged from my 6th inpatient hospital treatment in December after a year. I'm really struggling right now. Things are slipping and fast. While I was in hospital my family moved to France- I joined them. But I can not find support here.
I was kicked out of hospital the day after my BMI was healthy as the hospital felt u was a lost cause... This happens repeatedly and it's just further confirming and installing my core beliefs.
I am so alone and feel very vulnerable the majority of the time.
Sorry I am so negative, and I'm sorry I've waisted your time reading this, but if even one person see's this who is knowledgeable on what has repeatedly called chronic mental health please please can you consider helping me? I know I'm deemed 'unable to recover' but I'm so scared, terrified in fact...
I'm also sorry this is so long but if I didn't put all this out then I never will!
Sorry and thank you
xxx
Hi guys! :) I started being an intern not too long ago and i thoroughly enjoy using this website to help others and learn from all of you! <3
https://www.7cups.com/13403270 <- this is my profile if any of you would like me to have the opportunity to help you with your problems! :)
@AnaisNicole Eating disorders can be so isolating--they are misunderstood by not only the public, but also by insurance companies and even many physicians. We do this exercise in group that may be validating for you: Those suffering from EDs are joined by their families (siblings, grandparents, parents, step-parents) and everyone is sitting in a giant circle, each person holding a notebook and a pen. The therapists ask the entire group to write the sentence, "I am writing with my non-dominant hand" on their piece of paper. They all write this with their non-dominant hand (that was probably obvious 
)--so for most people who are right-handed, they are using their left hand to write. The group leader then gives them another sentence to write, and another, all with their non-dominant hand. Then we tell people to write, "I feel..." and with their non-dominant hand, they typically write "I feel awkward/clumsy/frustrated/sloppy/dumb/slow..." Then the group leader announces that for the rest of the day (8 more hours in group!) EVERYONE must continue to write with their non-dominant hand all.day.long. This is where several people start getting angry. We then ask them to write how they feel NOW that they know that they are writing with their non-dominant (typically left hand) for the rest of the day. "I feel angry; I feel that is unfair; I feel mad; I feel frustrated..." The parents share that they "need to take notes" during parent day and it's unfair to make them do it with their non-dominant hand.
This is when we draw the comparison between recovering from an ED and writing with your non-dominant hand. FIRST I must say--I am right-handed. I KNOW that writing with my LEFT hand is EASIER than recovering from an ED. But what we want people to know is that our brains are WIRED to make us right-handed or left-handed. When we write with our non-dominant hand, we are working AGAINST how our brain is wired.
The same is true for eating disorders.
Research has shown that people who have struggled with eating disorders have brains that are wired a little differently. ED brains do NOT find food as rewarding; ED brains do not find hunger as disturbing. ED brains aren't wired incorrectly, they are wired differently. And so the act of eating feels as awkward and uncomfortable and confusing as it does to write with your non-dominant hand--recovery means forcing (and really training!) your brain to act and think a different way.
I am writing all of this to you because I hope it will be validating and comforting. You are not broken. It makes SENSE that you are struggling given how your brain is wired. AND, just like with lots of practice you could have beautiful handwriting with your non-dominant hand, with lots of practice, you can learn to eat even when you don't mentally or physically want to--with practice, you will live beautifully too.
I hope that you can connect with treatment soon--in my clinic we have adults in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's who get better every day--so please keep hope; EDs are not life sentences, you can and will recover!
@ErinParksPhD thank you so much, your words are so understanding it actually made me cry, I wish I could get treatment from people as understanding as you xxx
@AnaisNicole I'm happy to be a listener as you figure out how to move forward with recovery. Hang in there and have hope. At each meal and snack, practice your skills. It is hard AND you can do it!
@AnaisNicole - I'm really glad that you're reaching out, and I understand how scary it is to hear those things about your diagnosis or to be out of treatment when you don't feel 100% ready. Getting support here is a really good start, and I would be more than happy to chat with you if you think it would be helpful. Recovery isn't easy, but it is possible, and I truly believe that it is possible for everyone, regardless of how long you've been struggling or what relapses you've had in the past. I believe in slow but steady progress, making small and achievable goals and moving forward with a wide support network around you, and a big part of that support network can be here. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need to chat - I believe in your strength, your determination, and your resilience. You can do this.
@AnaisNicole
Anais, we are all worth it! :) I am happy you are part of the group of 7Cups. We care about each other. Today you need to talk, tomorrow someone else and you can help with others too! :). Your story is one of inspiration. As long as you continue trying something else you have a tremendous opportunity to move forward ! :) we are here for you!
