Relapsing slowly?
In seventh grade, at a young age of twelve years old, I developed anorexia. I don't know how, because that time of my life is very fuzzy (I blame it on when I started depression/anxiety meds), but I'm starting to notice the same behavior I remember having:
• I calorie count waaaaay too much, and I haven't done that since I was twelve, at least, this bad.
• I try to guzzle water when I'm hungry, or ill limit what I eat if I give in. For example, If I were to eat like.. spaghetti or something (this is an example! I actually cringe at sweets and stuff since this has started up again.) I would limit myself to only half a bowl, and nothing more. And if I'm still hungry, ill guzzle water and go walk around outside to get my mind off of it.
• I'm starting to grow unhappy with my body again, especially ever since I started birth control, which caused my thighs, bottom, and breasts to grow larger (which I stopped a month ago due to this and other reasons).
Idk, I don't want anyone to think I'm doing this or posting this for attention, but is it possible I'm fully relapsing after years of trying to get over it?
@gjsiri
It is definitely possible to relapse after a number of years. People often relapse when puberty is in full swing or at transition periods (going to Uni, first job, marriage etc). Get help early, don't wait until you get into full blown relapse.
@Belis Thank you.. What do you recommend I do? I don't want to go to a doctor, because all doctors and therapists love to do is either tell my mom how I feel, or put me on more medicine that doesn't help. I just don't know what to do, I guess.
@gjsiri
Doctors and therapists have a duty of care and if they are concern involving parents can be sometimes necessary to keep young people safe. Whilst you are contemplating the merits of getting professional help you may want to have a look at this self-help guide.
@gjsiri
Doctors and therapists have a duty of care and if they are concern involving parents can be sometimes necessary to keep young people safe. Whilst you are contemplating the merits of getting professional help you may want to have a look at this self-help guide.
@gjsiri - I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with a relapse. I'm glad you've been able to spot out some warning signs; it's a good preventative measure, and can help you in avoiding a full relapse.
You said you're calorie counting, guzzling water, and feeling insecure about your body again. Have you noticed any new stressors in your life at the moment? A common trigger for an eating disorder relapse is feeling out of control.
Relapse can happen any time during the recovery process, and that's okay. A relapse starting now does not mean it will develop into a full relapse, nor does it mean you have 'failed' or that you cannot continue to recover and work through this relapse if it does happen.