Emotionally Confused
After realizing that my eating habits are definitely abnormal, I went to a counselor and the woman doing my intake agrees that it sounds like I have binge eating disorder. This is partially a relief since it sounds like they're willing to help me overcome it.
I'm also hoping to overcome my financial anxiety as well (I have money, just not a lot. I live with my mother and all I have to pay is my phonebill and bus ticket). BED has caused me to spend tons of money on fast food, something I'm not proud of. Unfortunately whenever I realize this, I get the urge to restrict my food intake (including right now). It doesn't help that I'm trying to make the habit of eating what I have in my house, and everything here is unappealing.
I learned recently that my college has a gym that's open to the students for a fee every semester. I'm planning on getting a membership for the spring semester while I recover from BED, however I'm afraid it'll trigger me into seriously restricting since I've been wanting to lose at least 5 pounds. I usually don't let my fears hold me back, but at the same time, I can't even remember the last time I had 3 square meals.
I have no idea on what to do when it comes to balancing healthy eating with changing my body image. Any thoughts?
hey, @raccoonangel im glad you noticed and decided to get help. If your nervous about going to the gym because it may trigger you, maybe just start small like going for long walks or short runs or anything that doesn't really feel like exercise, so your getting that exercise but without really thinking about it and then end up restricting. Then when you feel less triggered buy those things then build it up slowly, if that makes sense. I hope I helped, if you ever want to talk just message me :)
@raccoonangel - Hi lovely, I'm really glad to hear that you were able to talk to your doctor about this and that you are going to get some support from there. BED is a serious thing and getting support can make an enormous difference.
I can definitely relate to some of the struggles you've mentioned in terms of finding the food at home unappealing and thus turning to fast food and the concerns about being triggered at the gym into restricting. Often people don't realize that eating disorders (from anorexia to BED and all in between) have more in common than different and that people often move from one to another. Being conscious of that now is important and will help you to remain aware of how you're reacting to different things before they dig in deeper.
If it would be helpful to have someone extra to talk to or to get support from, you're more than welcome to reach out to me. Wishing you well!