Food always wins

i keep on trying to eat healthy and listen to my body but my emotions control me more than anything. what my mental hunger is telling me what to do usually is what i resort to doing. i told myself to just give up and not care about what i eat, whether i binge or not but i completely forgot i even had a binge ed! silly goose forgot that her thoughts are still going to stick with her, and all of that guilt and regret will too. the voices are so loud, i am constantly fat shaming myself all the time and thinking about what i will eat next. theres no cure for this, no matter what im dealing/struggling with food will always be the end point. food always wins