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akahime444
154 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupTeen Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 18, 2022
Recent forum posts
Someone help
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 February 10th, 2023
...See more I was just gifted six huge cookies as a valentines gift and i dont know what do to with them. Im trying my hardest to recovee, should I just throw them away? Someone please help
Coping replacement
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 February 1st, 2023
...See more I'm dealing with many issues and situations in my life and it gets overwhelming very easily. It has gone to the point where when a minor inconvenience sparks I use food to numb it out. Can someone help me out and tell me what I should do to replace food as a coping mechanism for mainly stress?
Food thoughts in the morning + nightmares
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 January 5th, 2023
...See more I feel like I've been getting better with my BED but my body has gotten so used to my binge eating that I cant have a single night where I don't have a nightmare about scavenging for food to binge on from trash bins or going to the grocery store to stock up on junk. And then once I wake up my nightmares influence my binges. And when im barely even awake, even before I open my eyes my mind is constantly set to "what are you going to binge on today". It's like my mind is programmed into a state where I should prioritize binging before anything. And usually I binge to numb out my stress and overall emotions, but it's weird seeing my mind just think to binge first thing in the day.
The groggy side of it all
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 November 30th, 2022
...See more My binge eating is at it's peak (hopefully im correct) but it might just get even worse. I know I have no self control nor discipline around food, and that I let my impulses control my actions so I keep myself away from food which has worsened my binge eating than ever. At night I take the trash to my room and start collecting whatever looks decent and binging on it. This is so embarrassing, but the reason why I'm sharing it is because Im too embarrassed for therapy and writing anonymously is much more easier than someone full blown knowing who I am. Its so groggy and i am always repulsed afterwards (obviously). My hands get super dirty and I get nauseous afterwards. This has been the biggest secret that I've kept and I no longer want this to be a secret. I don't know what to do. Binge eating is suffocating me and I keep sinking more and more into bad habits. I keep on waiting for something good to happen but I don't think the day will ever come.
How can I fix this
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 November 5th, 2022
...See more Most of the time, my fridge is empty and you can't even find a single thing to eat in my house. When I have the chance to get food I always buy a large amount just for that one day because I know there wont be anything home. But sometimes depression and social anxiety takes over so I chose to stay home, with no food. Then it keeps repeating: Nothing to eat - Purchase junk - Binge Eat - Repeat. I want to end this cycle but I really don't think there is a way out.
I NEED HELP
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 October 31st, 2022
...See more All I do is binge eat, but since I isolate myself most of the time it is something im ashamed of but is "well hidden". I'm getting my passport retaken next week which means I have to check my weight. I am so scared, I gained so much weight and since I'm still a minor my parents will see my weight and it will be so embarrassing. I'm planning on fasting for as long as I can but I have a BED so that seems impossible. I dont know what to do someone HELP 😭
Food always wins
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 October 28th, 2022
...See more i keep on trying to eat healthy and listen to my body but my emotions control me more than anything. what my mental hunger is telling me what to do usually is what i resort to doing. i told myself to just give up and not care about what i eat, whether i binge or not but i completely forgot i even had a binge ed! silly goose forgot that her thoughts are still going to stick with her, and all of that guilt and regret will too. the voices are so loud, i am constantly fat shaming myself all the time and thinking about what i will eat next. theres no cure for this, no matter what im dealing/struggling with food will always be the end point. food always wins
I've lost control
Eating Disorder Support / by akahime444
Last post
 October 11th, 2022
...See more Lately I've been trying to recover from my BED, but nothing seems to work. From several coping mechanisms such as taking a shower, dancing or even meditation, nothing can distract or take away the thoughts of eating. The voices are so loud, my view of my body is at its lowest; I look so fat like you overstuffed a teddy bear. Honestly It's all down to society. If I binge now, I'll isolate myself for a week. But if I binge later, I can grab some more things from the grocery store so I can binge more, THEN isolate my fat body that should never be percieved by anyone. Though I'm fat right now going out after a binge is so humiliating; you feel more sweaty, bloated and your double chin sticks out. Those are just some of my thoughts I experience everday, and it has led to sever depression. Honestly it would be criplling if I didn't go out all the time just to buy as much junk as I can fit in my trolly. That's all for now, wishing everyone a better recovery than me at the moment ☘️
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