My problems with food

When I was really young, six years old to be exact, I was very skinny due to something that did not work in my throat, and since I got it out, I‘ve been eating so much, gaining so much weight and I just can’t stop it.

Since they can see I‘m gaining weight, I feel very uncomfortable and insecure about myself, making snarky remarks and comments about myself every time I see me in a picture looking bigger than the others.

I feel like an alien under humans, like my body looks horrifying to look at.

Food has been my therapy even though it’s the reason everything started.

When I‘m bored or hungry, I always eat TOO much. I feel bad afterwards and eat my problems away, which make more problems.

I‘m a young girl who had and still has to live with being bullied and made fun of for her obesity and binge eating.

My parents don’t even believe me that „binge eating“ exists, which makes everything worse, they make comments and jokes to which I laugh but inside I‘m just- I can’t explain that feeling.

I also feel bad when I‘m stuffing myself full with food while my friends who came over are done after half a plate, it just makes me want to spit everything out.

I hate eating but at the same time I love it because it’s a comfort thing I never got.