idk if I have an eating disorder...
hey so i'm 17 and i never really liked the way i look but also i didn't care much about my body. Since the start of quarantine and all, I've seen so much things on social media about diet and seen so many pretty skinny girls... I think it might have triggered me uncounsciously because since then i always check the calories of everything, i am very selfconscious about my weight and how much i eat. I often go from barely eating for a week to over eating at every meal... I tried to make myself throw up many times and exercise A LOT. I lost weight during lockdown and was really proud of myself but now i re-gain weight and i hate myself for it. I don't know if I really have an eating disorder or if I just have bad body image or something but this doesn't feel good, i always think about food, all the time, and it's ruining my life. can someone relate?
@hayley3212
On 7cups we can't diagnose you with an eating disorder, but it definitely seems like eating is a struggle for you! You can always reach out for help here if you need it 
It sounds like you are going through a restricting and bingeing cycle. When we continuously restrict, our bodies need food so badly that they will make us binge. And it seems like after a binge you feel guilty and turn to behaviors such as purging and exercising and restriction to "make up for it". This is so valid! I just want to remind you that your body needs the food when you binge. It's not a lack of willpower, it's not anything you are doing wrong. It's your body protecting you, keep fighting!