It sucks

Hey friends:), I started my first real diet in the begging of last year, and after loosing weight I gained weight again. By now I am puking every week or every two weeks and I also started to eat alot of food without swallowing but spitting it out again (it helps me to avoid vomiting but is not very healthy either). I want to stop but also don't have so much energy inside of me but that's what it takes to work on yourself and to make it eventually. I'm just tired of my brain.