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Quarentined with my trigger

User Profile: PorcupineRay
PorcupineRay March 25th, 2020

My oldest sister has made fun of me and my weight my entire life. Now, whenever she comes home she goes on fad diets and flaunts in front of me. I have a mixture between anorexia and bulemia meaning that if I ate more than six hundred or so calories in a day I would force myself to throw up. I'm still very self conscious, but I am trying to recover and have finally begun eating full meals without shaming myself. She is back and stuck in the house with me. She asks me to exercise with her all the time, but I declined and she shamed me telling me how lazy I was and that I was going to get fat. That hurt because I have gained weight by switching to healthy eating habits. Later, I had a snack of a burrito with salsaa she came down and saw the empty plate. She asked me what I had eaten numerous times, and I refused to tell her. After the third time, I told her I don't want to discuss my eating or exercise habits with her and she called me a brat and a bunch of other mean names. Later she was watching me from the hall and I wiped my nose and she laughed and said I was digging for gold and that was what I had been eating, which she knows bothers me because I picked my nose as a child and she made fun of me so relentlessly I stopped. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck with her in the same house for who knows how long and I've purged every day since she returned. I don't know how to live with her and love myself at the same time. She doesn't even know about the eating disorder. Any ideas?

2
User Profile: GuardianAngel77
GuardianAngel77 March 28th, 2020

@PorcupineRay

I understand where you are coming from!!! I totally understand about eating disorders. It's not her business what you are eating. You know that you are eating healthy and doing good. That's all that matters. Because she's not supporting you in your recovery. I know it's hard to live with someone that always there to make fun of you. Or to following you around to see what you are eating. I know it's going to be hard for you because you live in the same house with your sister. Tell her why do you following me around. Do you have something better to do. Do you know why she's making fun of you???? Is she jealous about something about you???? Do you know why she picking on you???? This is some questions to be thinking about. What does your mama do anything about this matter with your sister???? I encourage you to eating without going to throw up after you eat. You are beautiful!!!! You are wonderful!!! Just the way you are!!!! I know you can do this!!! I know that it's a hard time in this situation!!!! Just take one step at a time!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗♥️♥️♥️♥️👍👍👍👍!!!!

User Profile: EvilRegalsReadToo
EvilRegalsReadToo March 28th, 2020

@PorcupineRay Tell her to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. She shouldn't comment on that stuff. She should just be quiet... Fuck her!