These days want to give up...
I struggled with different eating disorders but the most ongoing, longest one is bulimia at the moment. I went abroad for 5 months and things were a bit better since my environment was harder to relapse in but when I came back home things got worse. My ED thoughts and behavior slowly got worse and worse over the past 3-4 months to the point where I cant even go one week without relapsing in some way. Its so frustrating and I feel so trapped. I keep failing and it looks so hopeless to me to live a life where I am free from this control that this ED has on me. Sometimes i dont even get why I still struggle when I know the consequences and that nothing good will come through it... I know I shouldn’t give up but my will to keep trying is getting slimmer as I keep failing to be consistent with my recovery. Does anyone have any good encouraging advice? Ya girl is really struggling
Hi mint, I'm sorry to hear about your suffering. My sister went through a bulemic phase and it wasn't pleasant for any of us... I truly do feel your pain. The fact that you felt better while you were abroad tells me that perhaps the trigger is a factor at home. Perhaps a source of stress or anxiety. What I would advise you to do is find the particular source that causes you so much stress and anxiety that manifests itself as bulemia.. When you find that source and end it, I think you will be able to kick your ED out the door! You sound like a very smart and self aware person - I'm sure you'll fight your way through this! I believe in you!!! :)
Thank you! I actually know that its not good to be alone at home but whenever the opportunitycomes to be with people, most of the time I say no and end up being alone even tho I could likely end up bingeing & purging. I dont know why I do it when I know the consequences... in this way I feel like im in this trap where its almost impossible to see a chance of getting out
Sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I have had my own experiences with ED and weight issues and I know they can be frustrating, scary and hard to deal with. Please don't give up, everyday you are alive is another day/opportunity to overcome your struggle. I know I had a couple times during my experience where I wanted to give up but eventually it will happen where you will get past it. I hope you get there soon. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. 
