What do I do?

@jesusredeemedme2425

Hi there!! 💮 

I’m so sorry you’re still struggling with purging and bulimia. This is such a dark and isolating disorder, and many people truly don’t understand how consuming it can be. But I want you to know that I do. I’ve known people who have dealt with this, and I’ve done my own research because I care so much about this disorder, it is heartbreaking. I understand the secrecy, the guilt, and how hard it is to let go. From what you said, it sounds like your mom is really scared and deeply concerned. She may not be handling it in the perfect way, but it’s coming from a place of love and fear. Try to imagine being in her shoes, watching someone you love so much hurting and not knowing how to help. I know it’s scary, especially because what she’s doing threatens your eating disorder, which probably feels like a coping mechanism that you still need in a way. That ED voice in your head wants to protect itself, and it makes telling the truth feel nearly impossible. But the truth is opening up is what will start to set you free.

You’ve already taken such a huge step by starting IOP (that’s amazing, I AM SO PROUD!!). I know it might feel like no one there understands exactly what you’re going through, but all eating disorders share a common theme, and I hope that as you settle in, you’ll feel more connection and support. Getting help is hard, but it's necessary to end the misery and get yourself back.

You’re dealing with so much, and I know you’re tired. But please don’t give up. I’m here for you, and I’d love to hear more about what you’re going through. My messages are always open <3