Am I Making This Up?
Hello,
I have always had a weird relationship with food; I used to starve myself in middle school, stopped during high school, and started eating a LOT when I began college. Now I'm in this weird place where I'm starving myself for a day or two (ex. only eating a small dinner) and then all of a sudden I NEED a certain food to make myself feel better about something. Like yesterday, for instence, I had been eating less than [calories edited by 24Help1] calories a day for maybe 3 days and then (panic attack, school stress, melt down- you know) I went to the store and bought myself chips, chocolate, and ice cream. I ate all the chocolate, all the ice cream, and a handful of chips (my partner ate those, mostly). While I was eating everything seemed normal and good, but by the end I was sad and disappointed in myself for what I had done. Long story short, I understand what bulimia is and I know I have some behaviours from it, but I don't starve myself to punish myself- I starve myself to lose weight and then just lose control with my eating. I don't think of it as binging and purging- it's just like surviving on as little as possible and then slipping up and eating what I don't need.
Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that I'm confused and I'd really appreciate someone else's take on what's going on. I know there's something wrong, but I just don't know if it's actually a psychological problem or if I'm a bad dieter looking for sympathy.
@doodle11
Wow, it really sounds like you've been struggling with eating and food for a long time. The most recent food pattern that you've outlined--restricting for a few days then eating higher calorie foods--is a really common pattern among people who struggle with disordered eating and eating disorders. I definitely don't think that this is something you're making up. In fact, it sounds like a really serious issue, and I'm glad you're looking for some help and answers regarding these behaviors. Have you considered seeing someone like a therapist who could better help you explore your eating struggles?
You sound like you have a pretty good idea as to what triggers some of the behaviors, and having that insight is a great first step. If there's someone in your life who is a really good support, it might be helpful to talk to them when you're having really strong feelings about losing weight or the stress you feel before you eat higher calorie foods.
Try to hang in there!
@Carly23 Thank you very much- I will think about seeing someone for counselling :)
Ya like she said this happen with people in eating disorder sometimes , it
