Anorexia to binging and terrified...
Hello everyone, This is my first post here. Just a bit about myself: I am a 24 year old male and 5'10". I was underweight for a long time. I had honestly been restricting my eating for years now. I fell to my lowest point last month and just snapped. I went on eating benders, consuming stupid amounts of calories in day long binges. I shot up weight in a few days, then leveled off it seemed. But I have been having binges almost twice a week now. They are not as severe, but I am still eating "more" than someone of my size and age should be eating in a day. Not obscene, and since I won't post numbers not to trigger, but it is over what should be gaining me a reasonable weight per week. I also rock climb 4 times a week, for about two hour hard sessions and go on long walks with my fiance just about every day (at least 3 miles, because we enjoy the time and company). I know I am trying to recover, to reach a healthier weight....but these episodes and days of going over my caloric limit is scaring the hell out of me to the point where I am depressed every day because of it... Thank you for your time everyone...
@Scrabbz - First of all, sorry for my very delayed response to this! I'm sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you lately. Unfortunately, often one form of an eating disorder, like restricting, can flow easily into another, like bingeing. It sounds like you're struggling to get control of it on your own, which is perfectly normal. How would you feel about reaching out for some additional support? In my own recovery, I have found that talking about how I'm feeling and where I'm at has been the single most helpful thing, whether that's with a therapist, in a support group, or even just with a friend or a stranger online. Do you think that might help you? Is your fiance able to help support you?
I think there are lots of ways to help work on preventing binges, but I'll just share two of my best tricks here, and I hope they help.
1. Give yourself permission - it sounds counter intuitive, but I've found that if I want to binge and I tell myself that I am allowed to, but I have to wait 20 minutes first, I am able to calm myself down enough knowing that I can to focus on something else and getting distracted. Sometimes I still will, but a lot of the time, 20 minutes is enough for the urge to pass.
2. All things in moderation. Oftentimes bingest come out of feeling like you can't have something. If I have a craving for a food, rather than trying to avoid it, I let myself have it, but in a reasonable quantity. I'll prepare the serving I think makes sense, then take my plate and go elsewhere to eat it. The taste can help me feel satisfied, and moving away from the kitchen makes it harder to binge.
Good luck, and please let me know if there's any way I can better support you. Take care.
@Scrabbz first of all I want to say I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. Secondly, during recovery from an eating disorders particularly when you are recovering from under-eating/being underweight it is totally normal to have episodes of binge eating. Your body has been malnourished for a long time and it is crying out for food. Now that you have decided to recover the body naturally goes into the mode of 'yay food give me more'. It is a natural defence mechanism of the body from starvation and emaciation. It should stabilize once you are at a healthy body and a healthy mind. Also because you are exercising your body needs the fuel to keep going. I think the problem with binge eating really starts when you are at healthy weight and you cannot stop binge eat. Are you seeing a therapist?
