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I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but I've been pretty angry lately. I used to be pretty heavy in junior high and I can say for the past 5 years I've always been on myself about my weight. I'm on the scale multiple times a day and get upset if I gain anymore than [edited by 24Help1 for weight] pounds. I've never usually eaten more than 1 meal a day, and sometimes I go through episodes of not eating at all. I'm honestly fighting genetics, as none of this has really caused me to lost much weight. Sure, I look in the mirror a lot and I'm not satisfied. All of this has gone on for 5 years and nothing has ever happened. I've never been underweight, never had to go to a hospital or anything. I lost my cycle for about 6 months one time but that was it. My mom has only noticed one time and she called it a "game". I've had multiple people tell me I have a problem: my brother, my friends, my therapist even, and it pisses me off. I'm healthy, I clearly don't have an eating disorder, so I wish people would mind their own business. Does anyone else have this problem???
@mmklemm Darling I'm overweight myself, even if I eat like... crazy restrictively. I HAVE been underweight, but that was before my ED. I have never been underweight and had an ED at the same time. And I'm sure your behaviour can be called restrictive. I can't tell you, if you are sick or not, but eating one meal a day isn't healthy, I know that. And if your therapist tells you that you have a problem, I would listen to him. He/she knows a lot more about this stuff than we in this community do :)
@mmklemm
It can be so frustrating to have an eating disorder and be struggling but not be dramatically underweight, so no one takes you seriously. I'm sorry that's what you are going through, and I want to let you know that your struggles are valid no matter what size you are. I'm sure you know, and eating one or no meals a day is not sufficent to keep your body functioning. Not eating actually slows down your metabolism more than anything. It can feel like the only solution as you go on, feeling more and more desperate just to lose some weight. I know what it's like to feel like you have to weigh yourself multiple times a day, and be dissatisfied if you even gain a couple pounds. I remember so strongly what it feels like to have your self worth be tied to your size and weight. It's a crushing way to live.
I want to let you know that I've been there, and you are absolutely not alone. Even if your support system doesn't take your struggles as seriously as they should, I'm here for you and I have total confidence that you can beat your eating disorder, as nasty as it is.
You are not alone.
Carly
@mmklemm
Words by Carly and EvilRegals are really wise and useful. You need to be aware that you are walking over thin ice. You said you are fighting genetics, you don't need to fight, just adjust and balance, EDs are partly (sometimes mostly) genetics too. Whatever the case you are not alone.