I can't stand my body even though i'm an athlete; i can't eat without anxiety attacks

Hi, I don't believe I have an eating disorder, but my relationship with food is giving me all-day, every day anxiety attacks.

I've ran distance events for two years now and i've lost a good amount of weight. I've never looked good until now. And the thing is: i know i look fine, i can see slightly defined muscles, but i loathe my body, i feel disgusted when i look at myself. and i scrutinize myself shirtless ten times a day.

I may be binge eating. I think the running leaves me hungry, but i eat constantly, and when i am eating, i absolutely want to rip the food back up; but i won't, because i'm hungry. i'm confused on whether i'm comforting general sadness and anxiety with food or if i'm hungry from running.

I had cake for my little brother's birthday and i had a panic attack over it. I don't make myself vomit, but i could cry over having eaten a piece of cake.

My personality has changed too. I point out, in my head, faults i fear in myself in others. I always judge overweight people, even my friends. I do the same thing with people who can't run as fast as me. I make myself feel superior because i'm insecure.

So i would like to know what i can try to control my diet in a healthy way, and i don't want to love my body, i just don't want to have anxiety attacks over food. (and i eat healthy food, too! i still freak out over it)